Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Things I Am Learning #5

I've just turned 2 and am possibly becoming A Lady Who Doesn't Chew Everything, so maybe the title of this post should be - Things I Have Learnt #1.

I live in a very small house. For such a small house, it has a lot of things. Many of them look like toys but they're really clever traps set to tempt gullible dogs.

I always know when I fall into a trap. I hear Very Loud Screaming. 

Despite years of faithfully following The Mighty Cesar, my stay-at-home human is not particularly calm and can be too assertive.

Here are some of the things I've learnt.

Sticks make good toys.
A stick with a fancy lion carved into it is not a toy.
3 pieces of bamboo are toys. But when your out-at-work human puts the pieces together, they become A Work Of Art.
This is the last surviving Work Of Art.    
Mama Dew is a toy.Although this looks very similar, which is to say, it has 4 legs [or used to], it is not a toy.

This is my toy bucket. It came free with Mr Thumper's g.l.u.c.o.s.a.m.i.n.e powder.

This is NOT a toy bucket. It came from far far away.

I have many toys in what is left of my toy bucket. Some of them are hand-me-downs from Mr Piglet and Mr Thumper.

Mr Piglet ate Chickadee's feet. I ate his tummy.

The angelic Mr Piglet also ate Mr Man's legs.

I often find perfectly good tennis balls when we go for walks. Humans can be wasteful.
How To Get The Most Out Of A Tennis Ball.

1. If the tennis ball is newish, I use it to play fetch. Fetching is not the fun part and can, in fact, be quite tiring. Getting a treat when I drop the ball at my human's feet is the fun part.

2. When the ball gets grubby, I de-fluff it. This can take hours. I never eat the fluff. This would be bad for my digestion and besides, fluff is not tasty. I spit it out on the floor and my stay-at-home human cleans the mess up.

3. After the ball is de-fluffed, I break it into 2 parts. This is good exercise for my jaws and, more importantly, it reminds my humans that it's time for another bone.

Some toys, my humans bought specially for me.

Dr Who.

I can't remember the last time I got a new toy. I hope this doesn't mean they don't love me anymore.

Some of my favourite toys are no longer here. I played with them so much, they died. I have no pictures to show you but their names were Pinky-doh, Blooey and Dobi-wallah.


This toy cost a lot of money, almost 90 dollars including the yummy treat refill.

The People At The Pet Shop said it would keep me busy for hours trying to figure out how to get the treats out.

I am not the only one in this family who is gullible.

I liked Hydrant. But it cost too much for my humans to keep feeding me that way so now it just sits in my toy bucket.

Ella's human made this super-duper rope for me. It was very kind of him.

It's nice to have expensive toys but the very, VERY best things I like to play with are other dogs.

A rare old picture of Mr Thumper and me playing.

1 comment:

simon pender said...

Haha, that's quite a post. Very funny. Fortunately the only things that Monty and Daisy like to chew on are kangaroo sinew chewies, thoughtfully provided by their Dad.
See ya. Si