My favourite human went back to work last week and I'm NOT HAPPY. He tells me it's so I can have steak and bones for breakfast but all I've seen so far is half a banana and 2 extra chicken necks in the bowl. I think someone's lying here. Or skimming the piggy bank to pay for her passionfruit tarts.
So I've been trying to show my humans it's NOT RIGHT and I'm NOT HAPPY with the new arrangement.
Every morning, when they try to get me ready for my new bright and early 6am walk, I bark loudly to make sure all our still sleeping neighbours can hear how unhappy I am.
Then, after my hardworking back-to-work human leaves, I make sure my lazy stay-at-home human sees how devastated I am by running around the house madly and tossing all my toys about.
"Why couldn't it be YOU going to work? WHY couldn't it be YOU?" I yelp at her.
While I'm at it, I give my toy bucket a good shake and chew.
And of course, I follow her every where she goes. Up stairs, down stairs, up stairs, down stairs. Let's see how much sudoku she can do in the toilet with me scratching and banging on the door!
Today, my stay-at-home human went gallivanting to the doctor's and left me alone for one whole hour.
So I knocked the stuffing out of her second favourite heat sac [I did her favourite in, months ago] and grandma's [HA!]cushion.
I was very careful to scatter the evidence and to implicate Rufus who conveniently slept through it all, and got heat sac wheat grains caught in his fur and mouth.
But for some strange reason, my stay-at-home human knew it was me the moment she opened the front door.
I never realised what a Very Loud Voice she has. It was so loud, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, out into the backyard and into the rain.
But she used her magic don't-mess-with-me-missy voice and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in front of her with THE Blue Leash around my neck being told I was a bad, Bad, BAD! girl.
*sigh* I haven't been called a bad, Bad, BAD! girl in a long time and it was very sad.
I had to stay in my naughty corner for ages, at least 15 minutes, and the worst part was listening to her cooing at Rufus, telling him what a GOOD boy he was. *bleah*
I hope my hardworking back-to-work human comes home soon because I really, really miss him.