I think the man is panicking. He spent 3 hours cleaning the car, day before yesterday. Another 3 vacuuming and mopping the house yesterday (and didn't even get to the bathrooms). There's no way our little house takes 3 hours to vacuum and mop.
"Is this the first time you're cleaning the house since I left?" Silence. "Oh my god. It is, isn't it?" "I've been busy, babe!""Doing what?" "Oh, you know. I have to take Georgia out for her 2 walks every day, even in the rain. She won't let me rest. Yesterday I took her out to Callan, I had to bathe her when we got back because she got all muddy, then I had to cook her chicken, then I cleaned the car, then it was time to take her out for her evening walk. My back is killing me." "You should just have NOT taken her out in the evening." "I couldn't! She kept harassing me." "Can't you just ignore her?" "No, you know what she's like." But how did you take 3 hours to clean the house? It shouldn't have taken you more than 1 hour, including cleaning the bathrooms." "I don't do a cursory job, babe. It's VERY clean. I even vacuumed the cushions." "Why did you have to vacuum the cushions?" "Georgia got fur on them." "How?" "Oh, you know." " No I don't. She's only allowed on the chair when you're on it, so how did the cushions get so furry?" "It's okay, babe. They're clean now. Did you like the picture I emailed you?" "Yes. Why is Georgia riding in the front of the car? You know she's not allowed in the front seat." "It's okay. She was VERY good." "And what do you mean by, she wants my bed? Put the phone on speaker. I want to speak to her."
"Georgia! Georgia! Hello. How are you girl? How are you sweetie?" "She's wagging her tail!" "Georgia! I'm coming home soon. Are you being a good girl? I miss you! Abajo, Georgia! Abajo! Is she lying down?" "No, she's sniffing the phone. Who's that, Georgia? Who's that, girl? She's wagging her tail!" "Good girl, Georgia! Is Cushion feeding you lots? Are you getting fat again? Don't forget her dewormers!"
"So what did you have for dinner last night?" Silence. "Poop, you had something completely nutritionless, didn't you? What? Instant noodles?" "No! No. I had canned pork. Don't feel bad for me! It was very delicious! I loved it, babe!"
You're smashing it, babe!*
Going home tomorrow. Not a moment too soon.
*Thank you Ashlee and Sophia, for our new favourite phrase! MKR rules.
Guess what I saw yesterday, while walking from the bus stop to the hospital?
A man in his hospital bedclothes, in a wheelchair, hooked up to a drip, having a cigarette in the smokers' rotunda.
Thank you for all your well wishes! My brother is back in ICU, I won't go into the gory details but he's still fighting off the staph infection and a touch of pneumonia. Sister 2 arrives in an hour to take over from me. Sorry I haven't been visiting you the last few days! I promise to do so soon! X