Monday, March 11, 2013

Conversation with a man and a dog left at home alone.

I think the man is panicking. He spent 3 hours cleaning the car, day before yesterday. Another 3 vacuuming and mopping the house yesterday (and didn't even get to the bathrooms). There's no way our little house takes 3 hours to vacuum and mop. 

"Is this the first time you're cleaning the house since I left?" Silence. "Oh my god. It is, isn't it?" "I've been busy, babe!""Doing what?" "Oh, you know. I have to take Georgia out for her 2 walks every day, even in the rain. She won't let me rest. Yesterday I took her out to Callan, I had to bathe her when we got back because she got all muddy, then I had to cook her chicken, then I cleaned the car, then it was time to take her out for her evening walk. My back is killing me." "You should just have NOT taken her out in the evening." "I couldn't! She kept harassing me." "Can't you just ignore her?" "No, you know what she's like." But how did you take 3 hours to clean the house? It shouldn't have taken you more than 1 hour, including cleaning the bathrooms." "I don't do a cursory job, babe. It's VERY clean. I even vacuumed the cushions." "Why did you have to vacuum the cushions?" "Georgia got fur on them." "How?" "Oh, you know." " No I don't. She's only allowed on the chair when you're on it, so how did the cushions get so furry?" "It's okay, babe. They're clean now. Did you like the picture I emailed you?" "Yes. Why is Georgia riding in the front of the car? You know she's not allowed in the front seat." "It's okay. She was VERY good." "And what do you mean by, she wants my bed? Put the phone on speaker. I want to speak to her." 

"Georgia! Georgia! Hello. How are you girl? How are you sweetie?" "She's wagging her tail!" "Georgia! I'm coming home soon. Are you being a good girl? I miss you! Abajo, Georgia! Abajo! Is she lying down?" "No, she's sniffing the phone. Who's that, Georgia? Who's that, girl? She's wagging her tail!" "Good girl, Georgia! Is Cushion feeding you lots? Are you getting fat again? Don't forget her dewormers!"

"So what did you have for dinner last night?" Silence. "Poop, you had something completely nutritionless, didn't you? What? Instant noodles?" "No! No. I had canned pork. Don't feel bad for me! It was very delicious! I loved it, babe!" 

You're smashing it, babe!* 

oing home tomorrow. Not a moment too soon. 

*Thank you Ashlee and Sophia, for our new favourite phrase! MKR rules. 


Guess what I saw yesterday, while walking from the bus stop to the hospital? 

A man in his hospital bedclothes, in a wheelchair, hooked up to a drip, having a cigarette in the smokers' rotunda.


Thank you for all your well wishes! My brother is back in ICU, I won't go into the gory details but he's still fighting off the staph infection and a touch of pneumonia. Sister 2 arrives in an hour to take over from me. Sorry I haven't been visiting you the last few days! I promise to do so soon! X

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Good morning!

Do you think I have enough antioxidants and fibre for the day?
That's a tablespoon in a very large bowl. Maybe there'll be enough good stuff there to blow away the beginnings of flu.

The mango is a new discovery. It's not everyone's favourite Kensington Pride and the fruit shop man strangely didn't know what it's called. It's a bit fibrous, but the flesh is dripping with juice and it's even sweeter than a KP!

The pink guava and figs are fresh plucked from my brother's garden. After reading how nutritious guava is (and apparently good for losing weight),  I cut a third one into the bowl.

The man still isn't home yet. He's succumbed to a staph infection. I feel quite useless here now. I've done as much cooking and cleaning as I want to, and don't think I should go anywhere near an ICU with a sniffly nose. Let's hope the bowl of fruit does its job and doesn't just send me potty.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

If only dogs could speak.

In my last post, I mentioned how Georgia is (apparently) missing me. Many of you thought that was to be expected. Well, I didn't expect it! Georgia is daddy's girl and usually does a good job of ignoring me. There are only 2 times in the day when I become the centre of her universe. 1. When it's time to eat. 2. When she's sick.

Number 2. surprises me. Considering how close she is to Cushion, you'd think he'd be the person to go to when she's feeling crook and needs someone to wipe her butt or vomit, or hold her paw as she goes up the treacherous garden steps in the dark of the night to do a chuck up or wet one. My theory is that Cushion has whispered in her ear that if she really truly loves him, she'll let him sleep and wake me up instead.

So yes, it was a surprise to me that (he thinks) she's missing me. This is why he thinks that -

On the first night I was away, she didn't follow him upstairs to bed as she normally does. After I don't know how long downstairs, she did go up to the bedroom. Cushion of course instantly invited her up to his bed for a cuddle. Normally, she would jump up (if you remember, I wrote a Small Stone about that). That night, she looked at him, looked at my empty bed, then went to her own bed in the corner and spent the night there.

Wow. I feel so loved.

Yesterday, fresh news came about how clever daddy's girl is at communicating.

It's been raining in Sydney. Cushion thought it was too wet to take Georgia out for her morning walk. She didn't complain and all was quiet and good for a while. Then, I'm told, missy went up to Cushion, put her paw on his lap, turned round to look at her butt, then back at him. In short, he believes she was telling him she needed to go out to do a poop. (So he did, deciding to drive to a less swampy park, and it stormed on them and she refused to get out of the car, but that's another story.)

I'm not making this up. I think Cushion might be though.

Do you think he got it right? That Georgia was trying to say what he thought she did? Do your dogs communicate in strange or funny ways?

It's been pissing down here nonstop for the last 43 hours. I could do with a laugh.

"If I could speak, Typist, I would be telling you in no uncertain terms that you're not feeding me enough. 40.6 kilos? Come on! What sort of a nutritionist are you? I should be 42 at least!"

(Sorry, using the only pictures of Georgia available to me on the iPad which happen to be ones taken over our Christmas holidays in Brissie. Georgia had a weigh-in at the vet's yesterday and has lost 3 kilos over the last 2 months. My fault of course. I'm sure it has nothing to do with her fish hook episode, scavenging and perennial bad tummy. Oh no. It's always the cook's fault.)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

When the cat's away.

My brother has still not been discharged. A complication that he can't explain to me, or doesn't wish to. Nothing serious, and hopefully, he'll be home by Sunday or Monday. Thank you, everyone, for asking after him.

Meanwhile, I'm taking the opportunity to do a little cleaning and cooking. Like many people who live on their own, my brother is used to his mess and can get a bit huffy when he sees me scrubbing and tidying, so just as well he's not here.
I hope my brother doesn't notice I've shredded the cushion cover on his favourite easy chair. It was grubby! I had to chuck it in the machine! Needless to say, I'm never mentioning this post to him and, with any luck, he won't smell the fresh detergent fragrance now emanating from what's left of the cushion cover.

Jean, I'm doing my best to use water like a Rwandan (though I might have blown it by doing 3 laundry loads in 2 days). The storms that soaked Brisbane last week blew out the hot water heater pilot flame and apparently, I'm too stupid it's too complicated for me to light it again. So I'm counterbalancing the excessive washing by having very short showers. Don't ask me why I would need hot showers in the sub-tropical north but I do.

Look what I had for dinner! I think it would be too cruel to eat something like this in front of my brother (whose fortnight supply of light and easy healthy meals were delivered this morning), so I had it today (followed by a slice of fresh cream cake.)
It's chilly, honey, sesame and pepper shredded beef. Deep fried (I think), crispy, sweet, savoury, hot. I first had it maybe 10 years ago. I'll never forget the moment. It was in a Chinese retaurant in a small rural town called Biloela in central Queensland where a cousin lives. We'd just come home from a deep sea fishing trip to Swain's reef, aborted after the seas got too rough. I couldn't eat enough of it! and when we got back to Brisbane, I was thrilled to find it in a Chinese restaurant near my brother's place. Unfortunately, we've not managed to find any in Sydney so if anyone reading this knows a place, email me. PLEASE!

That's it for this quiet Friday night. Thank you for keeping me company. Have a great weekend, and for those of you living in the northern hemisphere who've been so looking forward to it... Happy Spring! X

P.S. I'm told my dog is missing me. BWAH haha!

Miss you too, Georgia!