The Typist tells me people are now laughing at me for being a silly cow.
I am NOT so really.
I was just being CAUTIOUS.
You have to understand, there are many strange and i.n.e.x.p.l.i.c.a.b.l.e. things in my neighbourhood.
Look at this!
What is a toaster doing on the sidewalk in the rain, I ask you? I'm sure you'll agree it's Very Odd, not to mention Downright Dangerous. Someone clumsy [like My Typist] could get killed tripping over it. Then who'll poach my chicken breasts and feed me?
It makes me faint, just thinking about the possibility.
The humans in my neighbourhood can be scary too.
Do you see what I mean?Maybe you can't tell just by looking at her, but she's big. Really BIG.
And she's always staring at me when I walk by her shop, like she thinks I'm going to run in and rob her or something. I really don't know what her problem is. It's not like she's the butcher, after all.
She makes me very nervous.
In that way, she's a lot like Dave.
"Hello Dave, nice day eh?"
Rowr-rowwwRr- RoWWRrR! Our fearsome dog-hunting cats of Balmain!
Just because I haven't mentioned them in a while doesn't mean they've moved away or gone to kitty heaven or anything good like that.
"Sorry."And of course, there are other scary things us ladies especially need to look out for.
Hector, for example. *
Yesterday, I saw something really nice on Darling Street! It was smelly too!
The Pig Man was very kind and did a dance for us.
Someone in my neighbourhood is buying a lot of pig for Christmas! 
Maybe it's us! I hope it's us! I love bacon!
But I don't think so though.
This morning, My Typist said I'm looking f.a.t. [again] and will need to eat less [again]. She took some pictures to show you.
Am I the only one here who thinks My Typist needs new glasses?
[And yes, as you can see from the 2nd picture, I had yet another bath today. No fair, Sage!]
* * *
I think I'm just going to hold my tongue here.I may be silly, but I'm not stupid.
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19 comments:
You live in a scary neighborhood, GLP. But I think the pig was scariest of all.
Dear Ms P,
I take it you mean My Typist? it's okay. you can say it.
love, Georgia x
All of that great funny stuff and all I can think of is, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not married to the Pig Man because I'd hate to wash his shirts every day."
I cannot speak to pigs in my neighborhood. Sadly, we don't have men doing dances with (smelly) pigs where I live. (There's always room for improvement, though.)
I do find people with bags and backpacks quite t.r.e.p.i.d.a.t.i.o.u.s,, however. Therefore I growl most convincingly at any newspaper boy or school child passing by.
I believe this embarrasses the Two-Legged Misses quite a bit because usually I'm just looking for a pet. Nevertheless, I don't see things changing.
Much.
Regards,
Ben in Bermtopia
Lori - how true. My Typist never thought of that either. As for me, I like smelly humans [and shirts].
Mr Ben - as always, you are i.n.c.o.r.r.i.g.i.b.l.e! [sorry, i'm having a Big Word Day.]
That pig man was dancing? Did he drop any bacon or sausage? You should have given him the cold nose poke to score a little meat is what I'm thinking!
Bunny
I'm not laughing at you, I swear.
At le ast, the oaster w as on leash...
And no, you are not that fat.
We could do without the toaster and scary humans and cats. But that bacon makes us want to come to your neighborhood for walkies. Our neighborhood is so dull.
Misty and her minions
My dogs would love the pig man, and the kitties, but I think they would be disturbed by the toaster also.
That is a lot of pig! Wowzers. I wonder who it's for or what kind of plans they have in mind... Seems suspicious to me. That's also a lot of freezer space!
You are a wee bit silly GLP, but that's why we love you so much! I especially loved it when you put on the antlers. ;-) And I don't think you are the slightest bit fat. There is clearly something wrong with the scale.
Well, GLP, I agree the toaster on the sidewalk was rather strange. But as for the pigs, I like live piggies better than headless dead ones.
Dare I tell you this? Did you know piggies are smarter than dogs? Not that I want to upset you. And since you are alive and the piggies are dead, I guess it is arguable which is the smarter species. Hmmmmmm.
dear Ms Jean,
piggies smarter than doggies? are you sure?
oh... ... My Typist is saying that you've had lots of piggies and doggies and should know. i, of course, am not so gullible. don't worry though. i still like you A Lot.
your friend always, Georgia x
That IS a lot of swine! Maybe some of it will be coming your way, Miss GLP. Well, a dog can dream, right?
Hello dear Georgia,
Thank you for your season greetings and here's wishing you and family a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Sorry I have not been leaving comments (I blame it on the busy hoomans) but rest assure that I read all your postings... the adventurous travel your hoomans had embarked on and your beautiful poems... boy, you sure are talented my furiend ;)
Licks, hero
Hi Georgia,
I don't think you look F A T at all. There are all kinds of clanky scary things all over. Last night it was raining very hard and something fell down! Clank! I didn't want to walk by it.
Merry Christmas from NYC~
Dear Petey,
You are so polite and would make A Very Good Boyfriend.
Please tell me what went clank! I am A Very Curious Dog. Maybe you'd better wear a helmet the next time you go out. Better to be safe and all.
Merry Crustmas to you and Olivia! xox
(My Typist says she's too lazy to correct the spelling up there. I don't know why it came out that way. Maybe the i.n.t.u.i.t.i.v.e thingy knows her too well.)
Walking round seeing all that is soooo random - toaster that could be a dog paw trap, giant scary girl, dog hunting cats and headless pigs..I would need a lie down after all that...However if you want to add something to the frightening list check out my best pal Toffee's groovin'...that will send you over the edge after this:
http://bigdogzola.com/2011/12/21/golden-toffees-xmas-groovin/
By the way you are not fat - you are a fine figure of a dog...Ignore typist. Festive greetings from Zola xx
I am almost too grossed out to eat bacon with my pancakes in the morning. I'll just have to sing la la la la as I'm eating it - because I can't sing and think of pig men at the same time. :)
Oh, and I'd stay far away from Hector if I were you, GLP. He is tooooooo big!
The comment of "What Remains Now" make laughing out loud!
Dear Georgia, you are not fat!
You look great!
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