An investigation into the dog-hunting cats of Balmain.

A true horror story

by ghost writer Edgar Allan Poo.
[Based on anecdotes, empirical evidence and other such highly regarded investigative techniques.]

It was an unseasonably warm Spring day in the cute little harbourside suburb that Georgia Petite Poi lives in. The streets were teeming with Saturday latte drinkers and a thousand baby strollers. Georgia was out for a walk with her out-at-work human and all was perfect in her world.

They were on Palmer Street near the apartments when suddenly! Georgia spied A Black Cat on the path. A Black Cat that wasn't Vanilla her friend. A Black Cat on Halloween weekend!

"Get away from me!" Georgia screamed, knowing full well the consequences of crossing a black cat's path! [Or is it having a black cat cross her path?]

The Black Cat was not amused. As Georgia tried her best to walk quickly away, The Black Cat pursued her up the street and started to attack her. Her out-at-work human tried heroically to scare it away, but it wouldn't budge. He pulled Georgia away and she fell. The cat continued to scratch at her face. Finally, in desperation, her out-at-work human had to kick at the cat to chase it away into a tree. Witnesses at the scene could not believe the ferocity of the attack.

Poor Georgia Little Pea. A Biggish Baddish Dog, attacked by a daschund last week and a cat yesterday, she was not herself last night and slept sadly in Mr Thumper's bed for comfort.

No doubt she wishes she was back on the mean streets of Mcgrath Hill where dogs chase pigs, cats chase rats and the animal kingdom is as it should be.

And yet, this is not where the story ends.

Because The Black Cat of Palmer Street is not the only dog-hunting cat in Balmain.

There is The Siamese of Stewart Street that will come out to bat your dog's tail if you're not careful.

The Bitser Cats of Further Up Palmer Street that are possibly the best guard cats on the planet.

The Corner Cats of Piglet & Thumper Street that will not move even for cars, much less humans and their dogs.

And most scary of all, the 2 Darling Street Shop Cats, a few doors up from London, that were last seen [by an independant witness] running out of the shop to pounce on a puppy that was walking by on the sidewalk.


Beware. Beware! You dogs out there! Keep your wits about you so YOU do not become the next hapless victim of these Bizarre Dog-Hunting Cats of Balmain.

*****

There was a time long ago when I dreamed of having a cat. My best friend who lived down the road and around the corner had 11 of them. I was very envious and pleaded with my father to let me have 1, just 1 of them, please!

There were 3 dogs in our family at the time and my father said no.

Undeterred, my best friend suggested I pick 1 of the cats anyway but let it live with her other 10. I was ecstatic. I'm sure, in retrospect, that the cat must have been quite happy with the arrangement too.

In my teens, I developed an allergy to cats. The way I discovered this was to cuddle 1 and break out in red lumps. After that, my love affair with cats ended and I now do my best to avoid them, even though I don't think I flare up anymore.

There are some questions that eternally puzzle me about cat ownership and maybe someone reading this will put me out of my misery by answering them. These are serious questions, so please answer only if you seriously have answers. I'm not looking for a dog and cat fight.

?

Why are cats allowed to walk on streets without leashes?

??

Why aren't cat owners, by law, responsible for their cat poo? Closely related to that question is - what do you do with cat poo in your yard and in your laundry basket when you don't have a cat? And also, if unscooped dog poo washing down storm water drains is a health hazard, isn't it the same with cat poo?

???

Lastly, if a dog attacking a cat is considered a menace, should a cat attacking a dog be classified the same way?

A few years ago, in this very suburb I believe, a dog that attacked a cat was sued by the cat owner and had a stiff penalty imposed on it. [I can't remember the exact details.] Around the same time, a cat attacked a small dog and the dog owner tried to sue the cat owner but was laughed out of court.

Do you see why I find it all too puzzling?

*****

More interesting cat reading:
http://www.catallianceaustralia.org/main/page_the_law_your_cat_and_you.html

http://www.leichhardt.nsw.gov.au/Cats.html

http://www.feralcat.com/sarah1.html