Sunday, October 31, 2010

An investigation into the dog-hunting cats of Balmain.

A true horror story
by ghost writer Edgar Allan Poo.
[Based on anecdotes, empirical evidence and other such highly regarded investigative techniques.]

It was an unseasonably warm Spring day in the cute little harbourside suburb that Georgia Petite Poi lives in. The streets were teeming with Saturday latte drinkers and a thousand baby strollers. Georgia was out for a walk with her out-at-work human and all was perfect in her world.

They were on Palmer Street near the apartments when suddenly! Georgia spied A Black Cat on the path. A Black Cat that wasn't Vanilla her friend. A Black Cat on Halloween weekend!

"Get away from me!" Georgia screamed, knowing full well the consequences of crossing a black cat's path! [Or is it having a black cat cross her path?]

The Black Cat was not amused. As Georgia tried her best to walk quickly away, The Black Cat pursued her up the street and started to attack her. Her out-at-work human tried heroically to scare it away, but it wouldn't budge. He pulled Georgia away and she fell. The cat continued to scratch at her face. Finally, in desperation, her out-at-work human had to kick at the cat to chase it away into a tree. Witnesses at the scene could not believe the ferocity of the attack.

Poor Georgia Little Pea. A Biggish Baddish Dog, attacked by a daschund last week and a cat yesterday, she was not herself last night and slept sadly in Mr Thumper's bed for comfort.

No doubt she wishes she was back on the mean streets of Mcgrath Hill where dogs chase pigs, cats chase rats and the animal kingdom is as it should be.

And yet, this is not where the story ends.

Because The Black Cat of Palmer Street is not the only dog-hunting cat in Balmain.

There is The Siamese of Stewart Street that will come out to bat your dog's tail if you're not careful.

The Bitser Cats of Further Up Palmer Street that are possibly the best guard cats on the planet.

The Corner Cats of Piglet & Thumper Street that will not move even for cars, much less humans and their dogs.

And most scary of all, the 2 Darling Street Shop Cats, a few doors up from London, that were last seen [by an independant witness] running out of the shop to pounce on a puppy that was walking by on the sidewalk.

Beware. Beware! You dogs out there! Keep your wits about you so YOU do not become the next hapless victim of these Bizarre Dog-Hunting Cats of Balmain.


There was a time long ago when I dreamed of having a cat. My best friend who lived down the road and around the corner had 11 of them. I was very envious and pleaded with my father to let me have 1, just 1 of them, please!

There were 3 dogs in our family at the time and my father said no.

Undeterred, my best friend suggested I pick 1 of the cats anyway but let it live with her other 10. I was ecstatic. I'm sure, in retrospect, that the cat must have been quite happy with the arrangement too.

In my teens, I developed an allergy to cats. The way I discovered this was to cuddle 1 and break out in red lumps. After that, my love affair with cats ended and I now do my best to avoid them, even though I don't think I flare up anymore.

There are some questions that eternally puzzle me about cat ownership and maybe someone reading this will put me out of my misery by answering them. These are serious questions, so please answer only if you seriously have answers. I'm not looking for a dog and cat fight.

Why are cats allowed to walk on streets without leashes?

Why aren't cat owners, by law, responsible for their cat poo? Closely related to that question is - what do you do with cat poo in your yard and in your laundry basket when you don't have a cat? And also, if unscooped dog poo washing down storm water drains is a health hazard, isn't it the same with cat poo?

Lastly, if a dog attacking a cat is considered a menace, should a cat attacking a dog be classified the same way?

A few years ago, in this very suburb I believe, a dog that attacked a cat was sued by the cat owner and had a stiff penalty imposed on it. [I can't remember the exact details.] Around the same time, a cat attacked a small dog and the dog owner tried to sue the cat owner but was laughed out of court.

Do you see why I find it all too puzzling?

More interesting cat reading:


Chapeuzinho said...

One of our neighbours has 3 cats. Mostly we ( the kiddies and I) like them. we pet them and they let us and occasionally they come in our house (when Aras is out). BUT they also use our front garden and the back of our back garden (near the compost bin) as their very own litter tray. The front garden has all of our little attempts at growing things ruined by the cats digging things up to ineffectually bury their poop. I have trodden in super stinky cat poo in my garden a number of times and even once put my hand in some when a poop was discovered under the Inner West Courier.

I would prefer it if cats were not allowed to roam free around the neighbourhood. I love the birds in my garden and the skinks that run across the walls and concrete. If you can find away to get cat owners to be a little more responsible it would be great.

Espirro said...

That sounds terrible. I don't think there's been anything invented that keeps cats out of the yard! poop in hand story. I know that one well too.

It IS strange how the law treats these two pet animals so very differently. I guess that's why I loved the cat on leash picture so much!

Cat Lover Imogen said...

On fb -

Hmmm and in defense...well...errrmm...firstly I hope poor Georgia is ok? But, maybe the cats in Balmain are rebelling against years of suppression by the millions (ok maybe thousands) of dogs who rule the streets..perhaps it's the beginning of a 'cat revolution' (mmm..interesting, I'm sure when I was growing up in the UK, black cats brought good luck!) xxxx

georgia little pea said...

dear miss imogen,

i'm well thank you. but after that nasty experience and being scratched on my tongue by another cat a couple of weeks back, they are no longer my favourite animal. i think my humans are going to have a tough time holding me back near cats now and they were doing so well too, getting me to walk by them without making a fuss.

do you really think there's a cat revolution happening in Balmain? i hope we move to Mongolia soon because it's getting too scary to live here.

xox to you too.

Tell-A-Tale said...

via email -

Poor Georgia aka The Gentle Giant. It's considered OK for the small to beat up the big, but not the converse: Size is everything in the muscle stakes. Perversely, in the business world, it is considered de rigeur for the big to pulverize the small. Go figure.
Do dogs get cat scratch disease?


uncle STeve said...

via email -

Dear people & dogs, hope that you've had a good weekend & stayed dry.

Sorry to hear about Georgia's 'Trick-or-Treat', so far cats seem to stay well clear of [our] little Jack-the-Ripper-Russells.

Congrats on the stuff you're writing, it's about cats, but interesting, good on you.

georgia little pea said...

dear Tell-A-Tale, its ok. i'm a brave girl. actually i'm not very gentle or very gigantic either. and what is scratch disease? is that why i'm so down?

dear uncle STeve, maybe we can borrow inky and flash to sort the cats out. what do you think?


Unknown said...

Dear Georgia

Don't be saddened by the natural defence response of a cat that is clearly a 1/4 of your size. It is really hard to co-exist with anyone let alone a territorial cat. Be patient and always remember that cats fall victim to animal cruelty in Australia far more than dogs. Maybe it's the chip on their shoulder that makes them a bit defensive, but they are lovely creatures who have a right to dignity and safety.
For myself, I hope to move to a house in the next year and get a dog. Then we'll see if my theory of co-exitance works.

Hang in there Little Pea.

georgia little pea said...

alright Auntie Lou, i will be patient and hang in there. if only all cats were sweet homebodies like Sir Lloyd though.

i am horribly excited to hear you'll be moving to a house! if i wear a muzzle and straightjacket, maybe you'll let me visit?