Monday, March 11, 2013

Conversation with a man and a dog left at home alone.

I think the man is panicking. He spent 3 hours cleaning the car, day before yesterday. Another 3 vacuuming and mopping the house yesterday (and didn't even get to the bathrooms). There's no way our little house takes 3 hours to vacuum and mop. 

"Is this the first time you're cleaning the house since I left?" Silence. "Oh my god. It is, isn't it?" "I've been busy, babe!""Doing what?" "Oh, you know. I have to take Georgia out for her 2 walks every day, even in the rain. She won't let me rest. Yesterday I took her out to Callan, I had to bathe her when we got back because she got all muddy, then I had to cook her chicken, then I cleaned the car, then it was time to take her out for her evening walk. My back is killing me." "You should just have NOT taken her out in the evening." "I couldn't! She kept harassing me." "Can't you just ignore her?" "No, you know what she's like." But how did you take 3 hours to clean the house? It shouldn't have taken you more than 1 hour, including cleaning the bathrooms." "I don't do a cursory job, babe. It's VERY clean. I even vacuumed the cushions." "Why did you have to vacuum the cushions?" "Georgia got fur on them." "How?" "Oh, you know." " No I don't. She's only allowed on the chair when you're on it, so how did the cushions get so furry?" "It's okay, babe. They're clean now. Did you like the picture I emailed you?" "Yes. Why is Georgia riding in the front of the car? You know she's not allowed in the front seat." "It's okay. She was VERY good." "And what do you mean by, she wants my bed? Put the phone on speaker. I want to speak to her." 

"Georgia! Georgia! Hello. How are you girl? How are you sweetie?" "She's wagging her tail!" "Georgia! I'm coming home soon. Are you being a good girl? I miss you! Abajo, Georgia! Abajo! Is she lying down?" "No, she's sniffing the phone. Who's that, Georgia? Who's that, girl? She's wagging her tail!" "Good girl, Georgia! Is Cushion feeding you lots? Are you getting fat again? Don't forget her dewormers!"

"So what did you have for dinner last night?" Silence. "Poop, you had something completely nutritionless, didn't you? What? Instant noodles?" "No! No. I had canned pork. Don't feel bad for me! It was very delicious! I loved it, babe!" 

You're smashing it, babe!* 

oing home tomorrow. Not a moment too soon. 

*Thank you Ashlee and Sophia, for our new favourite phrase! MKR rules. 


Guess what I saw yesterday, while walking from the bus stop to the hospital? 

A man in his hospital bedclothes, in a wheelchair, hooked up to a drip, having a cigarette in the smokers' rotunda.


Thank you for all your well wishes! My brother is back in ICU, I won't go into the gory details but he's still fighting off the staph infection and a touch of pneumonia. Sister 2 arrives in an hour to take over from me. Sorry I haven't been visiting you the last few days! I promise to do so soon! X


GizmoGeodog said...

Speaking of Cushion, I read this the other day and thought of you all:"Though the weirdest version goes - paws down - to the one Jonathan Swift used in his book Polite Conversations, written in 1738: "Poor Miss, she's sick as a cushion, she wants nothing but stuffing." Saw it here:

And on another note...AFter seeing your bowl of fruit I was inspired...went to local market and had a chat...two kinds of mangos but only ID was "product of Costa Rica" or "product of Nicarauga"...not info on what kind they were...asked mgr who got original shipping cartons but no help there either...NO info on the guavas except that they did come from here in Florida...and I found one brand new (to me) fruit called a plum lemon...this one comes from Chile...And yes, cut them all up and made a lovely fruit salad...thanks for the inspiration

What Remains Now said...

I'm chuckling, but only a little because this is a little too close to some conversations I've had with my husband.

So sorry that your brother is having such a rough time. Those hospital infections are scary.

georgia little pea said...

GIZMO - "sick as a cushion" that's a new one for me! Plum lemon sounds intriguing. I just plucked a whole bowlful of pink guavas. They're rotting on the tree and getting eaten by fruit bats. Wish I could send them to you.

LORI - haha! Men are men wherever they are ;)

The Race Against Time said...

Oh Bummer... you didn't get to spend real time with your brother. Poor guy... staph and pneumonia.. crap. Hope he does get out soon. How much of hospital food can one take.

urmmm... give the man and his girl a break..hehehehee.. i do the same when dad goes for long holidays. We trashed the house and only start cleaning when dad is about to come back. Sometimes its good to slack a life a little and enjoy some untidiness.

Bet Georgia will be so happy to see you but i am not sure if she'll share/give you back your bed. *LOL*

2 Punk Dogs said...

Sorry that your brother is still in the hospital, hope he's on the mend soon.

We're pretty impressed with Cushion, there is no way the Mr. would ever spend 3 hours cleaning unless there was some sort of biological disaster!

Jean said...

I am glad I don't have a husband. Or a sick brother. In fact my big brother just reached the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro yesterday!
I hope your brother gets healthy soon. I'm sure your sister will appreciate all the cleaning you've done, even if the water company might not.
Safe trip home. I hope Georgia gives you a great homecoming party!

verobirdie said...

Argh. I hope your brother gets better soon. It must be so frustrating.
Your talk with Cushion and Georgia is hilarious. I'm sure you'll love being back to a clean home.

H and Flo said...

I'm laughing at your conversation babe. I'm glad my only cleaning faries are arthropods. And they're all doomed once their job is done anyway.

I really hope your brother rallies soon. :( And I hope you're stinky cold has gone too.


georgia little pea said...

JEAN - Kilimanjaro! How freakin exciting! Why aren't you up there with him?!

H - arthropods? Now I have to go check the dictionary. Think the fruit worked. After 3 days, flu bug went away :)

3 doxies said...

Bwhahahahahaha....OMD, everything goes to hell when da woman ain't theres huh? Wells dat is what my mum says anyways. I think it is just marvelous dat you trusts Cushion enoughs to take cares of G AND clean. My dad would be clueless what to do with us. Heck, he won't even touch my sissy...she has issues what can I say.
Anyways, I hopes when you gets home dat everything will be back to normal babe. Bwhahahahaha...Oh I do crack myself up.

I is really sorry your brudder has had such a hard time. I hope he will be on da mend and can go home soon.


Rose ~ from Oz said...

I can't count very well - are you home yet? I bet there was a frenzy of bathroom cleaning before your return.
I can't wait to hear how Ms Pea reacted to seeing you. If she basically ignored you, that's a good thing - means she's hiding deep feelings and doesn't want you to know she missed you. And if she was all over you it means.....well she's pleased to see you. And THAT is life according to Rose. HAHA.
Gosh, poor dear brother is sure having a time of it. More good wishes his way.

Anonymous said...

Ya, that could happen around here too. I worked at a hospital for 15 years and was always amazed at the people in hospital gowns, dragging an IV pole and going out to have a smoke.
I hope life gets back to normal soon and your bother gets better fast.

georgia little pea said...

PUDDS, babe, yeah Cush is pretty trustworthy. I bet the whole house is sparkling and squeaky clean tonight. I think we might even have a new grill door coming! I should go away more often.

Flying tomorrow late morning ROSE. Just spent the whole day, I swear THE WHOLE DAY debriefing my sister. Knackered and hoarse. I think the girl is going to be hiding deep feelings ;)

Kirsten (peacefuldog) said...

HAAAAAAA! Yes I think every "dog lady" can report similar discussions with hubbies/boyfriends/straight guys in general with respect to dogs. It is a little bit scary how well you captured what must be a universal truth.

Healing warmth to your bro. Hope he heals up and gets outta there soon.

Cowspotdog said...

Having spent an entire year in hospital suffering from this that and every infection possible I understand how frustrating it must be for your brother and for you too. Life goes on and gets put on hold at the same time. At least the Cushion knows how to clean...there are many such cushions that don't :)

LetterstoAndrew said...

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that your brother is still not home!

But that was a funny conversation, you must admit it.

chandra said...

Damn that infection! And hooray for Sister 2 - I think if you stay away any longer, GLP will be wearing your jammies!

This cleaning scenario is familiar for my family. Over the past year, we've had houses in two states and if it's weeks before we're in the same house, hubby will wait until the day before to clean. And he'll be cleaning until the minute before my plane lands!

-c at ddy.

Taryn said...

Wishing your brother a speedy return to good health!

Pamela said...

You're heading home just in time. Sounds like Georgia is ruling the roost.

I hope your brother recovers soon. Heart surgery is a big enough deal. But it's awful that he's still in the ICU.

georgia little pea said...

KIRSTEN - "Straight guys in general" haha! It's true, all my gay men friends seem to pamper their pooches (and kitties) too much and are house proud. Not too mention, avid cooks! :D

REILLY & DENNY'S MAMA - a year? How very awful. I'm glad you're out and happily building towns now!

CHANDRA - cleaning at the last minute is quite a good strategy because there's no time for fresh dust to blow in and fur to drop. Sneaky men.

Sage said...

I was in stitches reading this! It sounds quite like my house when I'm gone. I'm so sorry your brother is having so much trouble. I know how worried you must be, but glad you're going home to straighten things out there. What would they do without us! At least Cushion didn’t use a toothbrush on the bathroom like I did the other day.

Anonymous said...

O, Baby, Baby. You're right; stuff Cushion and Georgia in a box and send 'em out here for my whole series of classes.

(So sorry about your brother. Sending good wishes.)

Amy said...

I'm glad to hear that Georgia is being properly spoiled while you're away, but I'm really sorry to hear that your brother isn't doing better. I hope he turns the corner and starts recovering soon!

June said...

Aha! Georgia will be asking, as soon as you get back, when you'll be going on another trip so Cushion can spoil her some more. If he cleans everything up, who cares? Spoil her while you can, I say.
I am so sorry to hear that your brother's still so ill. I hope he feels better soon.

Berts Blog said...

My Vikcie and I loved the whole conversation. I bet you can't wait to get home to hubby and doggy. Safe Trip
Bert adn My Vickie

Unknown said...

Hey at least you cleaned it in the end! Thats all that matters in the end! XD

Anonymous said...

EEEK EEK! Good luck to your brother! Sounds like GLP and Cushion are having a grand time doing what they are not supposed to be doing :)

animal lover, quilt lover said...

Men do housework very different then women do for sure!! I wonder why ~~~~
they were raised with a mother just like we girls ??? Sending healing,well wishes for your brother...
Thanks for your visit!!

Anonymous said...

Hey GLP, Well, at least the house got cleaned. LOL Also, that guy smoking in the wheel chair...when you're hooked, you're hooked!

Greyhounds CAN Sit said...

If I don't do it, it doesn't get done ... often it doesn't get done for weeks!! Sometimes months, like write a blog post and read blogs, lol! Anyways, I've had to go a long way back to find out what happened with your brother. He's been in the wars for a while, like everyone else I hope he comes right sooner rather than later. Hospitals aren't always healthy. Get well soon Bro!