It's been raining every day. We don't see many dogs on our walks, and most of the humans we see on the street are sad. I don't know why they're sad. It can be quite fun kicking mud puddles in the rain.
Our little courtyard is mushy with leaves and seeds, flattened spring flowers and squashed baby slugs. There are rice grains everywhere too, mainly because Mr Thumper is a messy-as-hell eater and too posh to clean up after himself.
Where is my stay-at-home human, you might ask. Isn't it her job to clean up the mess? Exactly so. But with her itsy-bitsy operation now a distant memory, she went back to exercising last week and now says she's too tired to do anything else like look after us and the house, and type up my blog.
I'm a little confused. I always thought exercise was supposed to make you faster, stronger and MORE energetic. But what do I know? I'm only a dog.
On Saturday, while my stay-at-home human was once again not at home, Mr Thumper went off to eat pho with my out-at-work human. Mr Thumper isn't really allowed to eat pho any more but he still enjoys blocking everyone else from entering the cafe by sprawling across the sidewalk.
My out-at-work human was slurping down his noodles when a lady from the Very Nice Dress Shop next door came out to say, most apologetically,
"Oh...what a lovely dog! He's just gorgeous! I wonder if you'd mind, maybe moving him away a little? I think he could be farting and it's getting just a little smelly in the shop. Would you mind? That would be great. He's SUCH a lovely dog!"
My out-at-work human looked into the dress shop and saw more ladies there, all holding their noses and looking hopefully at him. His first thought was to blame my stay-at-home human for feeding us beans and lentils. His next was to jump up and say,
"Of course not! I'm so sorry. I'll move him right away!"
He pulled Mr Thumper to his feet and lo and behold! what did they all see as his big bum left the floor?
Mr Thumper had generously baked everyone some chocolate muffins while he was sleeping.
My out-at-work human was mortified. The ladies in the shop almost fainted. Passersby had to politely look away. Mr Thumper, as usual, couldn't understand what the fuss was about.
I hope my stay-at-home human gets some sleep today so she can put some nice pictures into my next story so it's not so boring. Until then, xox.
3 months ago