Strange things I did as a child, with [or because of] my dogs.

This post is inspired by June's star gazing
and dedicated to my sisters and brother
who'd better bloody well read it.

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A few days ago, after reading June's post, I started reminiscing about some strange ideas I'd had as a child. 


Actually, I had many strange ideas as a child. 


This abundance of oddity might have been because I spent so much time alone [despite having 2 sisters, 1 brother, good friends in the neighbourhood and a boy across the road whom I was deeply in love with]. 


However, I think it was more likely my father's fault. It was he who fed me a potent brew of faeries, dragons, cyborgs, super heroes, mythology, mighty mice and miscellaneous talking animals from the time I was 5 [which was when I started reading]. Who knows what damage all those alternate realities did to my young mind? 


Little wonder I now have a talking dog myself.

"Listen, Typist. I can't really talk. I am just a voice in your head. You DO realise that, don't you?"

By the way, my mother didn't read much, so I can't blame her. 

But back to June's post. 

One thing led to another and soon, I was remembering the stuff I did to/with/because of my dogs that, in retrospect, might have given my family and neighbours cause for concern. 

Just for a giggle, I thought I'd share a few of them with you today. You may or may not find them so odd, depending on how odd you are yourself. But here goes.

Strange things I did as a child, with [or because of] my dogs.

*  I used to run on all fours with my dogs. I liked to whine, bark and growl too. I'm quite sure I thought I was a dog. To prove that I was a kindred soul, I sometimes slept in their large kennel. [Though never overnight. That would have been too much.] 

I can still run well on all fours today, which is very helpful as a stretch and warmup in my exercise class. My dog and cat sounds are pretty realistic too, and I love making them as I walk by the street cats. The looks they give me are priceless.

* Long before wheat grass shots became a juice bar staple, I loved eating grass. My favourites were long dangly blades which were excellent to chew, and young pale green juicy stalks which were great for sucking on. I don't think I would have discovered their delicate flavour without the guidance of my grass-eating chums. 

I wonder how much pee and other unmentionables I ingested along with the chlorophyll. But obviously, it did no lasting damage. 

Obviously.

*  My father used to regularly buy big bones from the market for the dogs. They were pre-cooked in some way, probably smoked or barbecued. The meat would mostly be gone [for human consumption] but some would still be on the bone. That meat was dee.vine! How do I know this? 

I always got first go before handing them over to the dogs. That's right. Sadly for Cookie, Shandy and Mickey, they never realised there was supposed to be meat on their bones. 

Do I feel any remorse for having shortchanged my dogs that way? Are you kidding? My only regret is not being able to get my paws on one right now.

*  My other favourite food as a child, after an exhausting day of wrestling the dogs, climbing trees, wading in filthy ponds and riding around on my bicycle [which was really a pretend car - strange because I still can't drive to this day] were pies. 

I made these myself. Here is the recipe:

*Smashed butter

*Crumbled dog biscuits
*A little sprinkling of mud [every pie has to have some chocolate]
*Shredded grass


Mix all the above. Press into old plastic containers. Bake in pretend oven. Serve them pretend hot, 1 for me, 1 for the dogs.


I think it's safe to say, I had a pretty awesome childhood.

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Did you do any weird stuff as a child? Do tell if you did! I'd hate to think I'm all alone in this. NOTE: You don't have to have had a dog to play. I hear you can do strange things with hamsters too.


P>S> Thank you for all your kind thoughts  and birthday wishes! They were much appreciated. I hope you find this post a little more cheery :) x