NO, I didn't pose for these pictures. And they weren't altered in any way either. This should be obvious seeing as how bad they are.
My humans can't understand how I keep my blanket on.
I don't want to sound too intelligent but I think it may be s.t.a.t.i.c e.l.e.c.t.r.i.c.i.t.y.
I wish my stay-at-home human had taken the trouble to airbrush the last picture. I look so F.A.T. in it. It's very unfair that she deletes any bad picture of her, and keeps mine because - "They're funny!"
And while we're on the subject on being F.A.T, I've lost another 0.8 kgs. *YAY* for me.
I wonder what I'll get as a reward. Maybe a jam doughnut. The Bertoni ones are alright.
How is Rufus B Thumper?
We think he's going to confound the vet again!
He's walking reasonably well [could it be the daily massages? :p]
And he's back to bossing Georgia around.
Yesterday evening, he insisted on going on his Treat Tour - Baker's Delight, Blooms, Victoire, 2 petshops and a vet. Of course, he wasn't allowed any, but boy, did he try! He sat himself down in front of Victoire and refused to budge. I had to lift his bum up to get him moving. At least the usual crowd of people there had a good laugh.
Rufus is also thriving on his new diet and can't wait for his meals. He gets fed 3 times a day. It was 4 last week. My dream, and intention, is to get him back down to 2. It would be great if I could get him to tolerate SOME low-fat kibble but I'm not going there again, yet.
Anyway, after some trial and lots of error, we have found that this works best for Rufus:
Rufus's Post-Pancreatitis Diet
BASE Plain white rice - cooked Oatmeal - cooked [this can make the meal a bit gooey] Bran - raw and unprocessed
MEAT Cooked chicken breast fillet, lean lamb, lean beef [trim away any ANY excess fat] Lamb/Beef - panfry without oil/grill Chicken - boil in a little water to make stock. Cool the stock down and remove any excess oil at top before using it to flavour the rice.
VEGETABLES Leafy greens - blanch and blend Carrots and celery - blend raw
Now, if only we could figure out the incontinence bit.
It was The Day Of The MasterChef Grand Finale so there was an air of great anticipation in our little house.
It was also the night when Miss Gillard was going to debate Mr Abbott at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME, so everyone could see who might make the better next Prime Minister of The Country Where I Live.
This was never going to work because The People Who Live Here know what's important and what's not.
Being A Clever Country, The People In Charge Of These Things cleverly moved The Great Debate to an earlier time so it could serve as an entree instead.
As I said, it was always going to be a special day.
There were many hours to kill between the alarm going off at 7am and MasterChef at 7.30pm, exactly 12 and a half hours in fact. So my humans decided to do something interesting to kill time.
They signed me up for school.
I was instantly nervous, having witnessed a class the weekend before.
What if the other dogs didn't like me?
What if I didn't understand what the teacher was saying?
What if my human ran out of treats to reward me with?
After an early breakfast, to work off some of my anxiety issues, my humans organised a special surprise for me.
Be still my beating heart!
Atlas brought his new housemate, Milo.
I was jealous. I would like to live in the same house with Atlas too, and have deep meaningful conversations with him.
Milo has ears but she can't hear, even when you shout.
Milo was awfully feisty, as you can see.
Which led to a kerfuffle or 2. Maybe even 3.
My stay-at-home human had to use her Very Loud Voice which was ridiculous since Milo couldn't hear a thing.
Mana and Tora turned up.
I've met them at least 3 times now. They're ladies, which is what I'm going to be one day.
Barbara as in Streisand and Lionel as in Ritchie.
Soon after that, 2 littlies came along that I'd never met before.
One of them looked like he'd been playing in a mudhole.
Everyone wanted a closer look at the dirty little dog.
To our surprise, their human said they were wheaton terriers and were born black and turn white as they grow older. He just hadn't finished turning white yet!
How bizarre. I'm not sure if the human was fibbing because sometimes humans do that.
Atlas and I played and played.
We did other things too.
Unfortunately, everyone else wanted to join in.
Except for Mr Thumper who was bored.
All too soon, it was time to go to school.
So, sadly, I had to say goodbye to Atlas.
We had to go by car because the school was very far away around 2 corners and down the road.
On the way there, my humans kept saying, "Don't embarass us Georgia, okay?"
I don't have a big vocabulary yet so I wasn't sure what that meant. But I put on my best listening face.
There were many dogs at the park where the school is.
Zarny was there.
Or is it Dell? Good camouflage.
And of course, Poppy.
I wanted to join the queue for a puppacino but it was too long.
And class was about to start.
My out-at-work human had to pay The People in Charge Of These Things a lot of money to teach me. Maybe enough to buy 3 bags of lamb bones, which is money better spent, if you ask me.
Mr Thumper, who went to school a long time ago [for Difficult Dogs] didn't come to class. He just sat and watched.
I felt he was laughing at me.
Then, class started and I had to focus.
Every time I did something right, I got a treat. My out-at-work human got ticked off for being too slow to give me a treat.
I like school.
I did so many things right, my bag of treats ran out. Either I was very smart or my out-at-work human didn't bring enough treats.
I already knew most of the things they were teaching.
Mr Thumper got bored too and fell asleep under a table next to Honey.
This is Honey.
By the time class ended, it was already almost 12 o'clock.
We were all happy that it was over.
I think Dell and Cody were happy too.
We met Miss Jackson on the way out. It was her first time at Puppacino Park. She's even older than Mr Thumper but doesn't look it.
By the time we got home, my humans were exhausted.
But there were still a few hours before MasterChef and chores to be done.
My stay-at-home human had to do a doggie laundry load because Mr Thumper had wet his bed in the night. Then she had to feed him his lunch. Then my out-at-work human had to go out to buy more chicken for us. Then my stay-at-home human had to cook the chicken. Then my out-at-work human had to take Mr Thumper out again for a little one-on-one time. Then it was time to prepare our dinner.
After that, we all settled down for the MasterChef Grand Finale, having missed The Great Debate.
Adam won, which made my humans happy. And no one had a clue about who might make the better next Prime Minister of The Country Where I Live.
But that's okay. At least now, we know who MasterChef 2010 is.
It was a great day.
Rave reviews for my behaviour this weekend:
"You've done a good job with her!" My teacher
"She's such a calm dog, she has a great temperament." Dr Dog 2
"She's a star!" My out-at-work human [not sure if this one counts.]
I might be Very Opinionated, but I'm NOT a little dog.
Luckily for little dogs, I'm kept on a Somewhat Short Leash.
Some truly fascinating facts about me are in my very first post "Hello, will you be my friend?"
Jordan Puff Piglet ??.??.????-09.02.2009 Adopted 29.10.2000
I never met Mr Piglet. He was Mr Thumper's housemate and best friend. He was clever, handsome, funny, strong and gentle. Also [apparently] perfect and a saint. I only came to live here because Mr Thumper got really sad after Mr Piglet went away. I always get compared to Mr Piglet.
Rufus B Thumper 30.04.2000-29.04.2011 Adopted 13.01.2001
My benefactor. He chose me to bring home out of all the dogs he met at the pound. He was already old and grumpy when I met him. Maybe if he'd been younger, he might have been my best friend. Mr Thumper was as big as a bear and had a very long tongue. He was very popular with the ladies and most other humans too. He's with Mr Piglet now.
My out-at-work human works hard to buy me nutritious food like lamb bones and lentils. He uses his Very Loud Voice only on my stay-at-home human which is why he's my favourite person in the world. He has a nice round soft tummy and is My Cushion of choice. *BREAKING NEWS* August 2012! My Cushion has left his job to be my full time Cushion! How lucky am I!
My stay-at-home human gets paid a lot of money to look after me. 100 dollars a week. She spends most of it on cream cakes and passionfruit tarts then wonders why she's getting fat. Strangely enough, she's also My Nutritionist.