Hopefully by the time you read this.

I'm scheduling this post to appear tomorrow morning. I've never done this before, so I hope it works!

By the time you read this, I should be on an operating table with a hole in my knee. I hope I'll be sleeping properly and not doing a Hayden Christensen.


It'll be my 2nd arthroscopy in 2 years. This time, to fix a torn meniscus in my left knee which has been hurting since February after I foolishly practised a knee-twisting capoeira movement way too many times. 


I'll be very glad to get it fixed. I know it'll never be 100% again, but it should be better than what it is now. 


Of course, I could still be in the waiting room, getting hungrier by the minute and spitting the dummy at our public health system. [The last time, I waited 8 hours.] 


But I hope not.


Can't wait! See you on the other side :) x


Off to have a good dinner now, and an early night.

+

It's past 11 and unfortunately, I can't sleep. It's not that I'm anxious. The arthroscopy is just a minor operation.


But I'm starting to remember all the things I'll find painful for a while...


Getting into the bathtub for a shower.


Sleeping.


Sitting.


Walking down the stairs.


Walking.


Vacuuming. [Oh yes.]




And some of the things I won't be able to do comfortably for the next few months...

Walk Georgia. [Not that I've been doing any of that lately.]


Cuddle with her on my lap. [The downside of having a 48kg dog.]


Give my leg muscles a deep satisfying stretch. 


Sit cross legged. Sit in any one position for longer than 15 minutes. 


Fully straighten my leg. Fully bend my leg.


Squat. Kneel. Run. Jump.


Climb on a chair to reach the baking trays.


Climb up a ladder to prune the hedge.


Other miscellaneous jobs that require climbing.




And the things I'll have to do religiously to get better...


Rehab exercises, 2 to 3 times a day.


Ride a bike.


Slow to medium paced walking.


Acquire patience.



I expect it'll be the end of the year before I can get back to training capoeira. Back to square one, basic moves. 


No more adrenalin rush, endorphins, serotonin and dopamine for a while. I'm going to be one crabby  person and I won't even be able to eat chocolate with salt crystals, lemon mascarpone muffins and clotted cream bee stings to make up for it because, as everyone knows, if you eat and don't exercise, you get fat[ter].


It's almost midnight. Time to have a last drink of water and begin my fast.

+

Well, guess what? The scheduling didn't work. 


The arthroscopy is all done! I'm now the proud owner of a hole in my knee. I'd show you, but it's all bandaged up. I promise at least 1 gruesome picture ASAP. 


I was the 1st one in the theatre this morning! I have nothing but praise for the good people of our public health system! 


No showering for 3 days. Yuk. No housework for a couple of days a week. Yay! Happy on Endon. Ready to get some sleep now. 

[Not just] Jack's party.

It was Jack's birthday yesterday and his human threw him a party in the park. Someone even made him a cake!

"Hey, wait a minute. This isn't real!"


There were lots of other real and good things to eat though.

Can you see me in this picture? I am next to the eggs. I like eggs.

Jack's human made these yummy peanut butter bikkies for us!

Although it was a party for us dogs, most of the food got eaten by the humans.

"Excuse me. I believe we were invited so can we have something to eat too, please?"

"Please?"

"PLEASE?!"

"You know what your problem is, Walter? You're a good dog. You should've just grabbed the bread and run!"Even Jack didn't get a bacon and egg sangy! "Are you sure they know it's your birthday, Jack?"

*

  "Did ya get anythin', Georgia?"

"I wish. How about you, Otto?""

"Nah. Some party eh."

*

"OMG! A crumb! Did you get it?"

"There! Another one! Oh thank you, generous human!"

 Finally, I decided to take things into my own paws.

^

^

^

Yeah. That's right. I stole the mini human's bread roll.

*

Some of Jack's better behaved guests.

 Otto

 Mozart

Roger

 Milu 

Casey

Walter

Sadly, My Cushion failed to take any good pictures of the birthday boy.  Here's the best one.

You can see his name on his collar. It says JACK.

HappY biRthday, Jack! 

Thanks for inviting me to your party! I had a ball lot to eat! X


p.s. I think I must have eaten too much because I started to fart again.






Newsflash Monday arvo! A[nother] social foh pah!


My Typist was in the hospital this morning when she got an urgent call from My Cushion. 


"Catastrophe!" were his 1st words, freaking My Typist out more than the questions in the questionnaire before her.


"Oh no, " she whispered back, not wanting to scare the other patients in the room. "What is it?" Thinking of course that something terrible had happened to her only precious dog [that would be me].


"It wasn't just Jack's birthday!" My Cushion blurted out. "It was Mozart's as well!"


OH. MY. GOD. 

HAppy *BIrTHday MozArT!

I'm sorry My Cushion screwed up. The Typist was completely blameless! Thanks for inviting me to your party! I hope your paw gets good soon! X

^

^

^

"And he thinks it's embarrassing I stole food from a baby."

A hopefully not too laborious update and some thank you notes.

It has come to my attention that The Typist has made me the butt of a cruel  joke [yet again] and when I was too weak to defend myself too. She can be a real stinker.


However, given that she might have been feeling cranky from sleep deprivation and it's her birthday week, I will forgive her and move on to more important things like an update on my health and happiness.

*Thank *you *EVeryone 

for your advice and for asking after me!  

I think my humans were quite worried because I've been quiet and mostly sleeping for 2 weeks. I stopped harassing The Typist for food. I didn't even want to cuddle with My Cushion or go for walks! To be honest, I don't know what came over me [and neither does Dr Dog].


But I'm back now and ready to push my humans' buttons again! [Strangely enough, they seem quite pleased with that but I'm sure the feeling will soon pass.]


Here's an update on what's been happening this week.


My Cushion took me shopping over the weekend. Since I now have to be on leashed walks, he bought me a new harness. It has a nice padded front and is very comfy. Considering I've had to make do with my old half-chewed one with a broken buckle for more than a year, I'm a little suspicious of this largesse.

"Why are you suddenly being so nice to me, Cushion? Are you feeling guilty because you let me jump the wall and hurt myself and gave me the lamb ear that [allegedly] made me fart?"

He also bought me this pillow. It's supposed to stop me chewing my toes. Just between you and me, it doesn't work too well [maybe because I'm a flexible dog] but I like it heaps better than The Horrible Thing so please don't tell my humans I told you so.

My pillow's name is DoughNut. 

Thanks Ms Jean for telling my humans about DoughNut. I'm so grateful you suggested it!  Thanks Flo's Mama for telling my humans where to get it here in Stryliah, and for offering to send me one!

*

I haven't had to wear DoughNut the last few days though because I've stopped trying to eat my paws. But I now have raw skin and scabs from trying to eat them last week so The Typist has to give my paws a medicated wash every! other! day! for 2 weeks. 


The Typist asked Dr Dog if it was a good idea to wash my paws in salt water as well and he said "Yes! That's a good idea!" 


Thanks Ms Rose for giving My Typist this good idea.

Here I am enjoying my soothing oatmeal and salt foot bath.

You can see how disgusted thrilled I am that I now have salt foot soaks to endure look forward to as well as my medicated baths. 

*

In other news, my neck is much better and I can now turn it around and look up. 


Here's a picture of me on my 3rd visit to Dr Dog. Don't worry. It's G-rated even though Dr Dog is feeling me up.

Unfortunately, my back left leg is now ouchy. Dr Dog had a look at it and thinks it could be a c.r.u.c.i.a.t.e  l.i.g.a.m.e.n.t  problem and we'll have to keep an eye on it. [I think this means I'm stuffed and won't be playing with my friends or jumping down walls for a long time forever.]

"Please don't tell me I'm not as young and nimble as I used to be. A Lady does not need to hear rubbish like that."

*

And finally, the most important update of all, and the one you've all been holding your breath for.

Yes. I have stopped farting.

Thank you Person In Charge.