My detailed instructions on how to be A Good Hunting Dog.

My humans think I'm a PigDog.

I was bred to hunt pigs? How can that be? I don't even know what a pig looks like [though I AM quite familiar with extra crispy double-smoked bacon and once had a pig's ear from the petshop which  made me sick].

I DO, however, enjoy following a scent. And therein lies the problem.

My family is [mostly] [quite] peaceable. My out-at-work human has an e.x.i.s.t.e.n.t.i.a.l crisis every time he's called upon to kill a marauding rat. My stay-at-home human finds it hard to smack mosquitoes and will wave them away to feed another day [much to the disgust of my out-at-work human who has no compassionate feelings whatsoever for mosquitoes].

So there's been no one around to teach me how to be a bloodthirsty, fearsome PigDog. No one to guide me in my arduous journey to Be All I Can Be. [p.s. Do you like that I'm using big words today? I told you my v.o.c.a.b.u.l.a.r.y was improving.]

But that's alright. I've been teaching myself.

Now just in case there are other dogs out there like me, who lack a role model and mentor, but who dream of being Good Hunting Dogs - I thought I'd share some notes on How I Did It and How You Can Too.

Here are my detailed instructions. Please follow them if you want to be A Good Hunting Dog.

1. It's alright to be ambitious. But it's a good idea to start with something small.

"Here fishie, fishie." 

Do not laugh. What you are learning here is posture and patience.

2. Don't be hasty. Move on to something bigger that can run away, only after you've built up some self-confidence.

"Come on, LittleDog, just a bit closer. Nothing to be afraid of."

[The LittleDog is the tiny black dot on the right. My Typist wanted to draw a little circle and arrow on the picture but doesn't know how. If you do, please help her. It's not good to be so stupid.]

3. Choose your prey wisely. Something that doesn't fight back would be good.

"Oh, hi Gracie! Didn't see you there. Nice day, isn't it?"

Yup. Believe me. It's just easier that way.

4. The day will come when you're finally ready for Big Game! Consider finding an apprentice. 

"A helpless prey has passed this way, Coco, My Apprentice."

"We must wait patiently and quietly for our opportunity to strike with lethal force."

"I said, QUIETLY, Coco."

"Get down, Coco! Where do you think you're going?"

"Shhhh! Sit down! DOWN COCO!"

"Alright, who's there? Is that you, Georgia?"
[Another little circle and arrow here for The Prey would have been nice.]

5. This is IMPORTANT - Be careful who you pick as an apprentice. Mr Trump will vouch for that.

And finally, 6. Remember - however much you're drooling at the thought of some fresh meat, the watering-hole is neutral ground. 

"Damn watering-hole etiquette."

I hope you've found my detailed instructions helpful. If you follow them, you will surely become as good a hunter as I am. I have more than 1 year of experience in hunting so I know what I'm talking about.

For example, I caught a fly just yesterday. My out-at-work human zapped it, it fell right in front of my bed, I put my nose on it, and it stopped buzzing. That's called Team Work, a fine aspect of hunting that Coco, My Apprentice, is still struggling with.

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*We hereby solemnly swear that no LittleDogs or BigDogs were harmed in the taking of these pictures. A fly might have copped it though.

*These techniques were performed by A Professional. Do NOT attempt this by yourself! Human supervision is recommended.

p.s. I wonder what my humans mean when they tell me to go catch a rat. Rats are vermin. I wouldn't like to get bitten by one. I'm going to leave the rats to the c-a-t-s.

"Hey Mr StreetCat. How about you catch some rats for us in return for pooping in our yard?"

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Mama, what is a PigDog?

http://www.huntingpigdog.com/

Hot dogs.

Some weeks back, My Cushion went out for a day on the harbour without me. It was horrible of him to leave me behind on the hard floor. But he took lots of pictures. Here they are.

As you can see, there's A Lot of water around here. 

I'm not sure I like water.

I don't like it when my toes can't touch the bottom. And, I don't know whether you've noticed, but it's all so wet. And here's the really curious part,  no matter how wet I get in the water, when I get home, I always end up getting a hose down. Why? Aren't I wet enough already?

Since my stay-at-home human announced to the whole world that I can now swim, I've been feeling stressed. Every time we go to the beach, my humans now expect me to keep swimming out to fetch sticks and balls. Why would I be interested, I ask you? It's not like you can eat them. Why can't they just let me roll around the sand and find some yummy dried squid instead? I just can't understand humans sometimes.

But I don't like to disappoint My Cushion, so I've been working hard on my technique all summer. I think I might be getting better. Please tell me what you think.

I know I'm still splashing about a bit too much here.  

But here's a picture of me swimming calmly and c.o.n.f.i.d.e.n.t.l.y.

I met this dog @Mort Bay. He didn't think I could swim.

Huh. I showed him.

I'm not sure if he was impressed by my technique though.

Don't tell anyone, but I've been having some secret swimming lessons too. I had one with Pinky Bella  @Illoura a few weeks ago.

Maybe you can't see too well here because my out-at-work human didn't take good pictures, but Pinky is a bulldog. Her human says Pinky is very special because most bulldogs can't swim.

I suspect I might have some bulldog in me.

Early one morning, I had a swimming lesson with Echo too. We met up @ Birchgrove. The water was nice and calm.

For such a big furry dog, Echo swims pretty well. Why he doesn't sink when his fur gets all wet is A Mystery.

This isn't Pinky! It's another bulldog I met @Callan. His name is Rocky.

Lucky for me, Rocky was a regular bulldog and couldn't swim, so I didn't feel so stupid about not being able to either.

All in all, I much prefer playing on the beach.

Alaska likes the beach too.



A new dog came along. He was nervous.

He ran up the rocks to hide.

 It took a lot of patience, but he finally came down to play with us.

Cleo turned up! Her spots still haven't gone away, poor thing.

Mr Thumper can't run much anymore. He tried playing with this dog. I don't think she was too interested.

When it's hot, it's good not to run around all the time.

You can lie down and play and still have a very good game.

The weatherman says it's going to be 41degreesC today. I don't know why my humans would believe anything the weatherman says. If I fibbed as often as he does, I'd be in the doghouse.

My stay-at-home human's been busy watering the plants and getting them ready for the heat. She's filled the water pots too, in case Alfred gets hot and wants to have a swim.

Nobody had better drag me out to the beach today. I'm going to find a nice cool corner and go to sleep. I hope my stay-at-home human turns on the airconditioning soon. Maybe she'll do that after she finishes washing my bedsheets and hanging them out to dry.

Oh! Her phone just started barking! That means it's time to feed me again. I'm getting 5 little meals today. My tummy is still not well.

It's tough being a dog.