My primary job is to entertain my humans.
For example, a long time ago last year, one of my best party tricks was this. Some of you might remember it.
It always made my humans smile and they're very sad that I haven't done it since coming home from holidaycamp. What can I say? I must have grown up a lot there.
However, I do have a new party trick that I suddenly thought of just last week! Sorry, My Typist can't seem to embed the video here today [whatever that means]. So if you want to see it, you'll have to CLICK HERE.
This should amuse my humans for at least a month or until the neighbours complain.
Of course, I don't just entertain my humans. That would be selfish. Occasionally, I help entertain guests that drop by [not so many because my humans are
not too sociable shy not too sociable].
This is Ms Im who came to visit last week."Thank you, Ms Im, for coming to visit My Typist and her stitched-up eye and for the lovely lemon tarts!"
And these are Ms Michelle and Ms Karla.
"Thank you, Ms Karla and Ms Michelle, for coming to visit My Typist and for the homemade soup too!"I'm very good at entertaining, as you can see. I like this job. It's simple to do and it makes everyone happy.
FOOTNOTE: The human who kicked My Typist in the head didn't come visit but he
This is all that's left now.
Although that sounds awful, it was quite yummy. Truly. [At least that's what My Typist said because I'm not allowed chocolate.]
My 2nd important role in our little home is as a peacekeeper. How does this work?
Well, when disputes break out, I'm the only one either of my humans will talk to. I can't say I'm too comfortable being caught in the middle like that. I personally don't speak their language
I put on my sad face.
These are re-enactments because my humans haven't had a dispute in a long time, at least 2 weeks.
"I am very sad that you're both having a dispute. Please make up soon."
You can see this 1st picture was taken a long time ago when Mr T was still with us. But the expression is exactly what I would use.
Sometimes, my humans can be a bit stubborn. As you may or may not know, it takes a long time for anyone in this country to say "Sorry."
If that happens, I move to my Stage 2 expression. This is a bit more fierce and involves more eyeballing.
"Oi! I don't like this! Stop disputing and get my brekkie!"
Surprisingly, my very basic negotiation technique often works as my humans don't like to see me sad, worried or angry. This is called emotional blackmail. I suspect there is always some kind of emotional blackmail going on in peace negotiations.
My 3rd role in the house is especially important on cold days and every other day in-between. This is to sit or lie down on my humans and be their non-microwavable personal heat sac.
This role causes the most friction in our house as I can realistically only be a heat sac for one human at a time. Sometimes, this friction leads to a dispute, in which case I have to simultaneously perform my role as peacekeeper. [Very tricky.]"Hurry up and sit down please. I am a very popular heat sac and haven't got all day."
"Is that good? I bet your thighs are warming up nicely."
"The stuff we dogs have to do to keep our homes happy and harmonious..."
Apart from the 3 abovementioned indispensible job functions, I now also go to work with My Cushion.
"Am I going in to the office today?"
"I know it's summer but you're a tad under-dressed for work, don't you think?"
It's only a part-time job, and I go in just once a week. I'm not too sure what my role there is yet as the office is still in some state of flux.
However, I believe it has something to do with walking around and letting people pat me and give me treats, thereby promoting a sense of peace and relaxation in an otherwise stressful environment.
My goodness! This post has taken a long time to write! I didn't realise how many responsibilities I have in this family.
You may now be thinking [or not, as the case may be] - "Poor Georgia. She works so hard. I wonder if her humans are just as useful."
Well, of course they are! [This statement is entirely my own. It was completely unsolicited and no one has paid me to say it
yet.] And I shall tell you what their job functions are tomorrow [or maybe the day after the day after, depending on how busy My Typist is].
Until then x
P>S> I'm sorry for the lack of a title today. Obviously, someone in our family is not pulling her weight. There will no doubt be repercussions.