Saturday, April 30, 2011

Little menial things.

A very long time ago, when we were first told that Rufus wouldn't be with us much longer, I started preparing a post, an obituary for a dog. I filled it with stories and pictures about him. It was quite long.

Weeks passed. Rufus ate pap and thrived. The vet ate his words, and was no doubt pleased to do so. Once in a while, I would edit the draft, just to be ready. The weeks turned into months. The draft got further and further down the list of posts to edit, until eventually, it was no longer on the 1st page, or the 2nd or even the 3rd.

I just found it a couple of minutes ago. The date on the draft was 7.06.10.

There's nothing in it that I want to use today. Maybe it'll get published another day. Maybe it'll just sit as a draft in perpetuity, a reminder of how long Rufus survived and what a great fight he put up. 

Instead, I'm going to tell you about the little menial practical things we've been doing since Rufus went away.

***

The First Day.

We took down the barrier that had divided our house for so long.
We moved the dining table back to its original position, though neither of us really remembered exactly where that was anymore.

We kept going around the table to get to the kitchen instead of walking directly into it.

We stared at the new-found space and marvelled at how empty it looked.

We cleaned the nonslip rubber mat and put it away.
No doubt Georgia will one day need it.

We hugged Georgia and told her she was a good girl and not to be sad.
We washed the soiled towels, old rag Tshirts and bedsheets. There'll be no more daily dog laundry.

We rolled up Rufus's bed and his backup bed, and put them in a corner. When the rain stops, one will probably become Georgia's sunbed.

We mopped the urine off the floor for a last time, and wrung out the mop to finally give it a chance to dry.

The Other Half played fetch in the house with Georgia and she surprised us by bringing the ball back every single time.

He googled what size Revolution we would now need to buy since there are no longer 2 dogs to share 3 pipettes.

I applied Revolution on Georgia and threw away the excess 1/2 pipette.

I put aside Rufus's glucosamine and green lip mussel powder to give away.

I reminded The Other Half to pop over to the vet's to pay the bill and to return Rufus's thyroxin tablets.

We told Georgia she was a good girl and not to be sad.
We talked about how we would now only need to buy meat once in 2 weeks instead of twice a week.

We talked about re-introducing fish, cheese, eggs and yoghurt to Georgia's diet. Though it may be a while before we get there because the freezer is chock full of meat for 2 dogs.

We fed Georgia the leftovers from Rufus's last meal and she gobbled it all up.

I took Rufus's collar and leash down from the dresser hook, and put them next to Jordan's.

I washed his food bowl, but couldn't make myself put it in the shed.
We closed some windows because there's no longer a snow dog that likes a cold windy house.

We turned off the kitchen light because there's no longer a dog on the other side of the barrier that needs it on at night.

We closed the back door because there's no longer an incontinent dog that needs 24-hour access to the backyard.

We woke up late this morning because there's no longer an incontinent dog anxious for his early morning walk.  

I didn't top up the water bowl because there's no longer a dog that drinks copious amounts of water every few minutes.

We fed Georgia a hearty breakfast and she gobbled it all up.

We stopped telling her not to be sad. We stopped worrying about how she might adjust.

I deleted the daily feeding time reminders on my mobile phone.

I thought about what I can do, now that I don't have to be home to feed Rufus his small meals thoughout the day.

I got scared thinking about how much time I now have.

The Other Half thinks he might clean the car today, if the sun comes out. It's a bit furry and smells of urine.

We think we might plan a little weekend away soon, now that we can.

I find time for a few regrets.

I regret that Rufus didn't have time to eat his chicken wing, a cheesymite scroll or an egg. But there's only so much you can stuff into a dog in 24 hours.

I regret that Jordan had to be alone in a kennel at the clinic, with a needle and drip in his leg, on his last day.

I regret that he didn't get to eat all his favourite foods like Rufus, and only got one dried something or other from the vet's treat section, that he asked for himself.

I regret that Rufus didn't get carried out through the house and the front door. A door he hadn't used since his incontinence made it too messy a prospect.

The Other Half takes Georgia out for a long walk to Callan park, the organic food market, and the vet to pay the bill and return the thyroxin. They come back with greasy chorizo rolls and Georgia gets to eat some too, for the first time in a long time.

I discover that I was wrong about Rufus's birthday being in early May. It's actually today.

In a way, I find that most appropriate.

***

The Last Day.

The rain held back long enough to take Rufus to Elkington, one of his favourite parks.

He spent the afternoon with his favourite person in the world [not me], at his favourite pub.

We woke up to a blue sky on Friday morning and went to Callan park.
We filled the hours between coming home and 12 by stuffing him with more food. He ate all the things he hadn't been allowed to for a year - rubbishy treats, a fruit bun, cheese, a lamb shank bone - until his stomach looked like he'd swallowed a soccer ball.

I gave him a last brush and wipe down, hugged him and told him what a good boy he was.
 
We left strict instructions for him to be nice to Jordan and not to bully him. We told him to tell Jordan we missed him very much.

The clinic called at 15 to 1 to say the vet was coming over. I went out to the front porch to wait for him. As I stood there, it started to bucket down. The vet arrived with an assistant.

We told him how Rufus had perked up in the last 24 hours. Were we being too hasty to let him go? He told us many things, the short answer was no.

He explained what he was going to do. He described how Rufus might react. He told us how long it would take. He advised us on whether and when to let Georgia witness and be a part of the procedure.

Rufus got up to have a long, long drink. When he came back to his bed, the vet gave him a sedative. The Other Half cradled his head as he fell asleep. It took almost 10 minutes. The vet shaved his back left leg and gave him the final injection. Like Jordan, he was gone in seconds. Less time than had been anticipated for a dog his size. It was all over by about 1.20.

He was ready, the vet said. It was the right time.

Right on cue, the sun came back out.



***

To friends, and the many strangers who dropped by over the last few days - 

Thank you. Your thoughts and well wishes have all been gratefully received. Whether you realise it or not, and in ways you might not imagine, your kindness has been helping.

Love and peace back xox

57 comments:

Bali said...

Never EVER in my blog reading life have I ever shed tears while reading a post... until today... x

chandra said...

thank you for sharing rufus's last day with us. what a very fine farewell to the very dashing mr. rufus b. thumper.

happy birthday, rufus. i know you and jordan are doing it up right!

make no more time for regrets.
-c at ddy.

hero said...

Thank you for sharing with us Rufus's last day... run free, Rufus, run free... and happy birthday, big guy!

Licks, hero

grrl + dog said...

had to wait till my glasses de fogged,
and I stopped crying.

I know this will be my experience soon.
Vale Rufus -
I hope you are doing better now,

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I think Humans are often jealous of how we get to spend our last days -

Thanks fur making Rufus's so special -

AND fur allowing us to be part of it -

One day, I'll have my own last day - I want to make sure I have some of this same fun -

Mom and I want to thank you fur getting him that special gift - and fur rekhognising it was time -

The last Siberian Mom let khross also had that same slight rebound on 'the day' - she was so NOT the same khanine Mom had khried on the night before BUT Mom knows that was her sign - she had left 'here' Sunday night to chekhk out all that is North of The Rainbow Bridge - found it pretty darned khool - then khame bakhk fur her furry body Monday morning -

Our khandle - and Mom's glass of AGJ - will be lit and lifted in YOUR honour this evening -

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra and Her Mom
York PA USA

Kristine said...

I don't think Rufus could have asked for a better day. You did the right thing. Thank you for writing about this. I know how hard it must have been.

Take care of yourselves.

houndstooth said...

I'm crying like Rufus had been my own dog. His last day with you sounds so perfect! It's what we all wish for our dogs as they make that final journey. Thank you for giving Rufus the kind of life that every dog should have and enjoy!

You're in our thoughts and prayers! Be kind to yourselves and enjoy living life and doing things to their fullest.

Jen said...

Oh goodness Georgia and family! I sobbed my way through this post; what a beautiful tribute to a special dog. And, it's caused me to take a moment and hug my furry friends- nearly 6 year old Spike who I already dread the last day with, 4 year old Soph who I never expected to make it this long, if I am being really honest, just because she's lived in such pain and Murphy, my puppy still. Thank dog it will be years, I hope before I have that last day with her. It's never easy, is it, but for Rufus sake, I am thankful you knew when it was time to say goodbye.

Rufus is in good company at the bridge, isn't he- he's with a myriad of dogs and others that have been loved. I hope if he runs into my Mortimer there, he'll remind him to be a good boy and to keep on running! :)

I'll be lighting a candle for Rufus tonight. Lots of love and well wishes and hopes that you get through the grief in your own time and way, from us at the Black Dog Blog.

Tell-A-Tale said...

There's a soft, sad space around my heart just now.

Go play in the sun, all 3 of you.
Hugs.

Anonymous said...

I am in NZ for a week and have not checked my messages for a few days.

I did not need to open it to know what it was about.

I am so sorry for you both.

I know what it is like to lose a beloved pet.
Rufus knew you loved him and you did everything you could until the very last minute.

I admire what you did and it is going to take a while for it to sink in.

I'll write more later but I do understand what you are going through. (with tears welling up in my eyes)

Love and many hugs to you both and to Georgia.

Allegra xxx

Kenzo said...

Thanks for making us part of his last day. And what a great tribute to Rufus. Jordan will take care of him now.

Karen Friesecke said...

Hugs and kisses to you the the "other" human. Thank-you for sharinf Rufus' last day with us. You are very brave.

Team Beaglebratz said...

From the mom - I am so glad my Internet is working now and that I can read this at home and not in the office where there are others around me - I'm afraid some of my co-workers don't understand why I get so worked up over some of my doggy stuff - I feel sorry for them.

I love your post and how brave you were to write it now, so soon - it's wonderful. You gave Rufus a wonderful life and he really fought such a valiant fight - a testament to not only the care and love you gave him but also to his love for you all.

When you were describing how the vet told you what would happen, what he would do and how Rufus would react, it brought back memories of when my Angel Oreo crossed the Bridge. And yes, he was soooooo ready - just like Rufus was. And I totally agree with you that it is better to be a few days early rather than a day late - my sister found out the hard way what it is to be a day late when her Westie crossed the Bridge a few years ago, alone and in the early dark hours of the morning on a hard kitchen floor. So making that decision to help our loved 4 legged companion cross the Rainbow Bridge, while it is the most difficult decision and one we wish would never come - it is the best way to show our pets we love them. And when they get to the Bridge, they are no longer in any pain or discomfort and eternally whole and young again.

I do believe Rufus is now running through a beautiful green meadow under a bright sunny sky - run free Rufus B. Thumper.
Kim

Jan said...

This was so beautifully written, you really should expand it into a book. I write a lot of dog book reviews and this was as well written as any I've read.

So many mundane details of living are changed with the passing of a beloved dog and you have recounted that so very well. While there is grief, there is also relief.

I wish I could read it again, but it's hard to read through tears. Please accept our hugs.

The Daily Toki said...

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. Rufus was a dog well-loved.

Susan said...

Thank you for your beautiful tribute. I cried the whole way through, it was so moving. I agree, you should write a book on your experience with Rufus.

The one blogger is right about making that decision earlier than later. Many years ago, my parents had a cat that came down with feline aids. They finally had to put him down when he had lost so much weight and could not climb the stair to get into the house (he fell over, my mother watching as this happened). She was grief stricken, to say the least, although my father kept his grief hidden. He cried later on, in private. They never talked about it, but I'm sure they regret that they didn't ease his pain sooner....

God Bless you and Georgia...give her lots of hugs and kisses from me, ok??

Anonymous said...

Dear Georgia and Humans of Rufus,

I am so sorry for your loss.

I wish that none of you will ever feel this loss and pain again, but alas, this wish may not be possible as it is very much part of our journey in this current existence we call life.

I do know that the depth of your pain can only be equal to the depth of the love you had for Rufus and that is a very special thing indeed.
So, be kind to yourselves and gentle with each other in these sad times and allow yourself to grieve and express that grief.

Then celebrate the life of Rufus and remember him well for such a loyal and loving friend is rare indeed and you were all blessed to have him in your lives as he was to have you.

I know that Rufus must now be pain free and happy in his new home even though he misses you all as much as you miss him.

I hope that he makes lots of new friends - old friends of mine, Lucy, Pascal, Sixx, Chelsea, Tit, Tat, Sue, Coffee, Nikki and many others.

One day, I too shall arrive at Rufus' new home and hopefully, I will be able to meet him in person. If I should see him before you do, I will be sure to tell him how much you and your humans love and adored him and he will probably say this "I know for I love and adore them too but I hope they know that we shall all meet again in good time."

In the meantime, should you need a shoulder to cry on or a friend to listen to your stories of Rufus, please feel free to call on me. I too, have loss many a good friend and I promise to listen compassionately.

I am sending you lots of good vibes filled with healing, peace and love so that your pain will heal and your heart will mend by the love that you had for Rufus and him for you.

Gracie

Alison said...

Oh I only just heard, I'm so sorry. I read this post with a puppy on my tummy, and cried and cried and cried. I'm so sorry for your loss. Rufus was a lucky, lucky dog to have chosen you, ck and georgia as his family xxxx

Shawn Finch, DVM said...

(((hugs))) and love to you and Mr. And Georgia Little Pea. I am so glad I got to "know" Rufus. what a great dog. and how very, very blessed he was to have you.

I liked your next post with the list of how so many things in life suddenly change too.

keep writing about dear Rufus as long as you need to (and then some more when you need to again) and we will be here to remember and cry with you.

Love,
Me

Wyatt said...

Our condolences for the lose of your pal, Rufus. It looks like he had a wonderful family here on earth.
Run Free Rufus,

Wyatt and Stanzie

Kolchak Puggle said...

Georgia and family, tears are rolling down my face as I read your post. Grief is not felt over the big occasions, but rather from the everyday moments - and you shared so much of your everyday with him that it is no wonder you are hurting now. It's supposed to hurt - that's how you know he was so very special. Sending love and gratitude for sharing this with us.

Anny said...

It is never easy.. and i am so sorry Rufus have to go. Reading this is very sad and my heart goes out to you and your hubby and Georgia. He did have his forever home in yours and you guys are wonderful people. Run free Rufus. Jordan is waiting.

CindyLu's Muse said...

You've invited us into your home, your hearts - and let us walk with you through this trying time. You've literally made us feel like we were there with you!
Know that we are - in heart and spirit and with hugs for all three of you. Rufus is in a great place now, as great as his home and family were. You are left without him, but with the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could to make his life the best.
This is an amazing tribute to a beautiful boy, I'd venture he would approve.
Happy Birthday, Rufus!

What Remains Now said...

I think this is the most beautiful post I've ever read. It captures everything so perfectly. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time.

youdidwhatwithyourweiner.com said...

This is the first day I have read your blog so I haven't previously met Rufus. Your story was very touching though and I feel like I knew him a little. I am sorry for your loss. Humans or pets - it is heartbreaking ot watch someone deteriorate and then leave us. I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks so much for sharing with us in this post.

Elizabeth said...

I'm crying......
Rufus had a good life and was obviously much loved.
I hope when the time comes, I go as peacefully.
You obviously have a caring vet.
What broke me up was all the little adjustments in your house.....
I remember this all so well.
A special hug for Georgia.
love from Elizabeth and Buster.

Pamela said...

Despite the distance, the fact that some of us have never physically met your or Mr. Thumper, and the strange artificiality of talking by typing, we are all linked to you now. Your words opened up a lot of memories for me, and I'm sure for others.

I am filled with pain for you and your family and for myself as I remember last days in my life. And I'm filled with thanks and joy for the time I got with each dog in my life as I know you are too.

Thank you for sharing with all of us. And blessings to you all as you experience both the relief and the grief that is a part of saying goodbye.

Elizabeth said...

All those menial things sure were profound. I'm so glad Rufus had a good day; it was a blessing; we should all be so fortunate as he.

Now, dwell on the happy and engage in *lots* of frivolous diversions.

Sending hugs and sun-shiny thoughts to all of you.

Elizabeth, Jon Farleigh and Dewi

Anonymous said...

Hi Georgia

It’s sad, but good to know that Rufus is at peace.

Our thoughts are with you.

Warwick & Alaska

Anonymous said...

How vulnerable we are to our lovely adored beautiful furry friends. I don't know that I will be that brave when the day comes for my molly to go. Hugs and kisses and lots of cuddles to Georgia xxx the gordie gits

Anonymous said...

OH GOD - Darling darling Rufus - we will miss you sooo much.


Much love from Nikki, Luke, Atlas and Milo xxx

Anonymous said...

Poor old boy...Stella used to like Rufus (and she didn't like many dogs) and I'm sure Pearl would have too if they'd got time to know each other.

There's nothing I can say that will make you miss Rufus less...I guess you've just got to go through the walking aimlessly through the day stage until one day you don't wake up feeling so lousy. The awful stage doesn't pass quickly, but it will pass. In the meantime, I'm thinking of you.

Chrisxx

Anonymous said...

I'm very sad to hear about Rufus 
With deepest sympathy and condolences to your family and Georgia and slowly with time will heals some wounds 

Thank you for letting me know

Khanh x

Anonymous said...

I’m still crying from reading the blog, it’s just absolutely beautiful. I’m so sorry to hear Rufus has passed away. I’ve lost a dog as well and I always said he “moved out” and hopefully someday he’ll call me and say hello. Although we haven’t seen Rufus in awhile, I think of him often, I think he liked Trudeau’s treats too!

Lot’s of hugs to the three of you and hopefully we will see you again soon.

Lianne, Trudeau and Marc x

Anonymous said...

I'm very sad to hear Rufus has gone. As you know he was always one of my favourites.

He did very well for such a big dog to reach 10 years.

Thanks very much for letting me know.

Regards
Deirdra

DogBlogger said...

Very touching. A lovely tribute. My eyes are full of tears.
You do poor old Rufus a great kindness.
Si.

Calley said...

I'm so very sorry to hear the news of Rufus's passing. I didn't know him well but the times I did see him out and about he allowed me a pat and to take his photo (he was extremely handsome as we all know).

He had a great life with a family who could not have loved and treated him any better.

much love
Calley x

Anonymous said...

A sad but beautiful blog celebrating Rufus. It is with tears in my eyes that I write this. I'm going to miss seeing the big fella around but rest assured he's up in heaven with all the dogs in the world that have passed away. Our condolences to you, CK and Georgia. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you all. Rest assured Rufus and Jordon will be looking down on us and keeping a watchful eye on you.

Jess, Tonya, Sparky & Del

Juliette and Dougie said...

Lovely photos of Rufus...what can I say? You did your best for the one you loved so much. God Bless Rufus and your family.xxx

Greyhounds CAN Sit said...

Just what everyone else has said:) I can't add anything or say it any better. It's kind of happy and sad that life goes on after losing a dearly loved family member. It's not the same though. Love and thoughts to you all.

Lavi said...

I feel so horrible I've missed this... Didn't even think it would be time to say goodbye to Rufus. I read the last posts and trying pretty hard not to cry.

It's horrible, realising that, after taking such good care of someone so dear, there will be no more worrying or taking care of them.

I'd love to give you all a big hug right now. I know you were expecting this would happen, but that doesn't make it easy. At least Rufus no longer has his bad health problems and you made his last day a very sweet one.

I'm sorry again for finding out so late. All my best thoughts to you.

sonia a. mascaro said...

Oh! I am so sorry for your loss... Rufus looks really adorable. What a great tribute to Rufus!
A big hug to all the family.

sonia a. mascaro said...

I am so sorry... I have tears on my eyes...
So dolorous...so sad...
Love and peace to you all.

Life Student said...

So I'm late and behind on all my blog reading, and Kristine said something about you in her blog today, so I dropped the other blogs and read this... and now I'm crying and very sad and wish I lived closer to Australia so I could give you hug.

Our Best Friend is only three, but I promise you I catch myself thinking, "We only have 7-10 years with him left, 12 if we're lucky." And as my oldest daughter is 13, I know how quickly time flies. We all go through it sooner or later (and if not with our own, then with someone else's). Soon the sad fades a bit as the happy memories take over, and we're glad for the life with had with them.

From 'way, 'way across the Pacific and almost a whole continent-- *hug.*

DogBlogger said...

Just dropping in again to see how you're all going. It's sad to see old Rufus go. I hope you're surviving. Don't be too sad.
Keep you heart open and ready for the next stray that comes along to fill up your life with joy and wet doggy smells.
Si

Anonymous said...

Oh what a sad couple of weeks it has been. The very loyal and caring doggie community let word be known, we're so sorry to hear that Rufus is no longer with us.

Nadia mentioned you had written a very touching memoir but I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to read it until yesterday and the tears did flow.

Lyndon and I lost a very dear friend last week so it's been a very sad time all round.
Lyndon said he saw CK from afar this morning but sensed he wanted to be on his own which is understandable.

So big hugs from us and lick lick from Mana & Tora xox

PS for fear of the green eyed monster, don't tell Georgia that the Villianous Hussies are having Jack all to themselves for 4 whole days as we're all going to Hyam's Beach this weekend.

Anonymous said...

I've just re-read this properly and thoroughly from home tonight (was in NZ and wanted to read it quietly at home rather than at internet cafe).

As tears stream down my face I wanted to tell you how beautifully written your eulogy was.

I agree with some of the comments that it should be published.

I guess the other thing that struck me was how beautiful Rufus was even towards the end. I mean, if we had not known how ill he was, you could have hardly have seen it! His fur was thick and beautiful.

I think this is a credit to how well you looked after him, right until the very end.

My friend in Panama lost another one of her cats last week. She had taken 4 cats from Malta to Panama. One died earlier this year (Cleo) and Minkie last week.

When I think of my friends, the closest ones all have pets and understand how animals can often be much nicer than humans.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I wish I was closer to give you both a big hug.
As with Irene in Panama, and us in Tahiti, we have all lost precious pets, but we have others we can still love and cherish.

Allegra

Michelle said...

omg - i'm so sorry - i just read this now and am crying in the hotel lobby... hope to see you when i get back soon....

Anonymous said...

Our thoughts are with you both.

X STeve

janeiro said...

Goergia and family we are so sad for you all. Rufus had a wonderful family. We wish you all the very best. Sorry I was a bit late reading this. We hope the empty space in your hearts heals with time. Jan (emmy's mom)

mylittledog said...

Oh, God, I'm so sorry to find out that Rufus has gone. I couldn't stop crying reading your post, and I can't think of anything comforting that I could say. I just hope the pain will ease off in time.
Rest in peace, Rufus, and run free now and forever with your friend Jordan.

Daisy's Mom said...

Oh Georgia. I just found out about Rufus after reading Kim's blog (CindyLu's Muse). I am so sorry. Throughout your whole beautiful tribute to Rufus you never mentioned your tears, but I suspect there were many (and probably still are). I know I certainly broke down and cried after reading your post.

I remember feeling at such a loss when I lost my Aspen. She was also ill for a very long time. She had incontinence issues and digestive issues and difficulty walking. As you described taking down the barriers and moving the kitchen table, I was brought back to all the things that changed in my life after Aspen died.

There was a great part of me that felt such terrible loss, and a very small part of me that felt relief too. Not because I didn't love her and miss her, but because there were so many things that I did for my sick girl to make life easier for her - so she could have a good quality of life until the very end.

Life definitely became less complicated when she left us (and there was relief in that too), but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't
wish I could have all that complication back again to be able to spend more time with her.

Anyone who has cared for a sick dog knows that it is a bittersweet moment when we say goodbye. As one friend said to me after Aspen passed "The hardest part is seeing them everywhere they used to be." Yup. That is indeed the truth. I can only say I am so sorry that Rufus is no longer with all of you. I am so very glad that he got to cross that Rainbow Bridge while at home and in the loving arms of his family.

sagechronicles said...

I'm writing this with tears running down my face. I'm so, so sorry to hear about Rufus. He had a wonderful life and it sounds like his last days were as full of love as could be. It's so hard to let them go, but you were there to help him make that passage over to the Rainbow Bridge.

I know the hurt and grief you are going through that only time will help. Your eulogy to Rufus was beautiful.

Sage's Mom

Joe said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Rufus was a lucky dog. My welcoming party at the Rainbow Bridge is already full. I know what you are going through and you have my heartfelt sympathy. I also want to thank you. I have been dealing with animal abuses and fighting them. Your post which I got from twitter showed me a family who cares for animals. It was becoming hard to believe there were such people in the world. You and your posters here renewed my faith in mankind. I never lost it for dogkind.

Edie said...

Belated but heartfelt hugs. Thanks for putting Rufus back in the picture on his last day so we could celebrate him and wish him a proper goodbye.
xxx
Edie

Anonymous said...

Such a painful and heart wrenching day, I have no idea how you managed to find the courage to share it with us so beautifully or even at all. Was very difficult to read through all the tears and running nose. Bless Rufus and may your hearts not stay broken for too long (Rufus would not want that). Thinking of you three, Lots of hugs Tara and Sammy xoxox

Pup Fan said...

I wish I had some words to help, but instead, I'm just sending you the biggest hugs I can fit through the tubes of the internet. My thoughts are with you.