Who's in charge here?

There goes summer. It's been grey and drizzly all weekend.

Yesterday morning, when we woke up, it was raining very heavily. It would've been mad to go out. My humans wanted to go back to sleep but they couldn't. Mr Thumper's incontinent, and he has to go when he has to go. And he always has to go first thing in the morning.

So my stay-at-home human dragged herself downstairs, put a raincoat on Mr Thumper, and got out the biggest umbrella we have.

"Let's go, Rufus!" she said brightly, jingling his leash and collar. Mr Thumper looked at her as if she was mad and refused to budge.

I thought I'd better help. So I went up to Mr Thumper and asked him, "Don't you want to go for a walk, Mr Thumper?"

"Ekkk." he replied.

I went to tell my stay-at-home human what Mr Thumper said.

 "Mr Thumper says you should take me instead."

My stay-at-home human was disappointed. She decided to see if maybe Mr Thumper wanted to eat first. So she made our breakfast.

I had mine of course. But Mr Thumper didn't want to eat either.

 
"Phtui! Ekkk." he complained, to the chef a.k.a. my stay-at-home human.

Out came the collar and leash again. Luckily, my out-at-work human stepped in. He gave my stay-at-home human a bag of liver treats to put in her pocket. Mr Thumper immediately got up to follow her.

My stay-at-home human had no time to feel insulted. Mr Thumper had a very, VERY full bladder. They walked in the rain for 30 minutes emptying it. But though my stay-at-home human begged and begged, Mr Thumper refused to bake any muffins for her.

Until, that is, they got home and he got onto his bed.

*****

After she'd scrubbed Mr Thumper's butt and tail and bed [for the 2nd time in 24 hours] and mopped the floor [for the 2nd time that morning], my stay-at-home human decided to cheer herself up. After all, it was Sunday! 

She decided to bake her Best Chocolate Cake In The World Even If She Says So Herself.

After all the excitement of the morning, all I wanted to do was go back to bed.

And I was just getting comfortable too, when I heard my out-at-work human yell out to my stay-at-home human, "She's leaked! On her bed!" I had this horrible feeling he was talking about me.

"No! Nooo..oo...!" my stay-at-home human sobbed, as she dashed about opening the windows and doors again. She turned on the fan. She sprinkled essential oils. She lit a nag champa incense stick.

My out-at-work human immediately got to work squeezing my butt.

 "Sigh. Sorry, Ms C."

My butt got washed. My bedsheet too.

It took forever to dry. I got cranky.

"Oi! Why are you so slow?"

Suddenly, I remembered I was A Lady, so I said I was sorry.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

After another 15 minutes, my bedsheet finally got dry enough for me to lie down on and rest. Thank goodness because I was very tired by then.

*****

It rained the rest of the day. I got bored. Mr Thumper refused to eat his lunch and dinner. The kitchen got mopped another 2 times. I didn't get an evening walk because it was raining. Of course, Mr Thumper got one again. My stay-at-home human gave up any idea of baking. She decided to pout and feel sorry for herself instead. We went to bed early. When we woke up at 5.30, it was Monday. And it was still raining.

I can't believe that's how my birthday week started. Who's in charge of these things? That's what I'd like to know.

*****

My stay-at-home human's Poop? What poop? essential oils blend

Eucalyptus Blue Gum [E. Globulus] 60%

Scotch Pine [Pinus Sylvestris] 15%

Lemon Myrtle [Backhousia Citriodora] 15%

Cypress [Cupressus Sempervirens] 10%

ONLY for potpourri or vapouriser use. A drop may be added to sanitise and deodorise laundry, or in a bucket of water for mopping the floor. NEVER to be used directly on dogs.