My name is *Laura Ingles. My friends suggested I write you to see if you could help me with my sad problem.
Yesterday was my birthday. I am now 2 and 2/3 years old. It's peculiar I know. Most dogs don't have fraction birthdays. I think it may be because my humans don't really know when I was born and decided to celebrate my birthday on the day they got me.
My day started quite promisingly. I got to sleep in a little and got some good cuddles too.
Then it was time for my birthday walk. I know it wasn't my humans' fault that it was grey and drizzly again.
But all I got was 1 lousy hour of walk. We went to the beach, but there was no one there.
I didn't get to meet Coco or Delle or any of my bestest friends so they could wish me Happy Birthday! What good is a birthday if you don't have any bestest friends to share it with?
All in all, I would have to say it was quite bad planning on my out-at-work human's part not to have organised SOME kind of meet-up. With your years of experience in taking good care of dogs, Mr PWLAD, wouldn't you agree?
When I got home from my walk, my stay-at-home human was preparing some meat. I just knew it was for my birthday! I don't know why Mr Thumper was allowed to be so close to my birthday meat.
In my opinion, being old is really no excuse for bad manners.
All the same, I was very excited! At last! I thought! Someone remembered my birthday! The meat went on the barbie! The smell of sizzling steaks was killing me! It took a little while, but finally, the seared-on-the-outside, tender-and-pink-on-the-inside steaks were done!
So. Imagine my surprise, when this was what I got for my birthday brekkie.
"Look at all that meat, Laura!" my stay-at-home human a.k.a. My Chef and Nutritionist said. "Let's hope it won't make you sick. Dr Dog** said you're not allowed anything but pap for another 7 days, but it's your birthday! So I'm going to give you some extra bits anyway, okay?"
Dear Mr PWLAD, I know I'm only a dog, but surely there's a big difference in the quantity of meat in the 1st 3 and 4th pictures? Where did all the rest go?
It was all too much for me, so I ate my pap and went back to sleep. Though it was my birthday, nothing special happened all arvo.
Then dinner time rolled round. I sadly went to the kitchen to see if anyone was getting my pap ready. And this is what I saw!
Oh my goodness! I was quite nervous! I'd never seen anything like it before! I heard my out-at-work human shout out from the telly room, "It's for YOU, Laura! It's your birthday pressie. Do you like it?"
It smelt very fishy to me. I was sure I would! So I got ready to have a nice dinner.
10 minutes later, my stay-at-home started to eat my birthday pressie/dinner. It was such a shock!
I tried to tell her maybe she'd made a mistake. But she ignored me and snarfled it all. I ask you, has that human no shame?
And guess what? I got more pap for my birthday dinner.
Dear Mr PWLAD, I want to stress that my humans aren't normally so hurtful. My stay-at-home human says she was planning to bake me a special birthday cake. She looked all over the internet to find one she liked.
Look at that cake! I don't want to sound mean, but I know my stay-at-home human's baking skills and I really don't think that cake would have been achievable. In retrospect, I think she was just playing a cruel joke on me.
So now you know all the tragic events that unfolded on my 2 and 2/3rd birthday yesterday. I've given you as many pertinent facts as I remember so you can launch your investigation. If you need more information, please do not hesitate to write me back. I will be happy to assist in any way. There are too many bad dogowners out there.
Till I hear from you, I wait in hope for
*Real name withheld for the safety of the victim.
** I wonder if you should start an investigation into Dr Dog as well. I'm not sure it's good for dogs to eat so much pap. Where's the nutritional value? Please consider my request.
P.S. For more evidence of how far our relationship has deteriorated in the past year, please do have a look at THIS. Thank you.
Looking for the WorldVets ChipIn Fund? Click HERE. Ends April 11th. Now over $41,000!