A rant.

Miss Imogen came to visit yesterday.

It was lovely of her to take 2 buses to come say hello.

She went for a walk round the block with Mr Thumper, then went into his Kitchen Pen to pat him some more. 

He rolled over to let her tickle his tummy. It was awful to watch.

She was very nice to him, and he was very nice back and didn't make a puddle on her shoes.

When she saw me bounding in, she exclaimed, "Oh! She's very much a Lady Of The Manner now, isn't she?"

She hadn't seen me since The Ladies Afternoon Tea.

"Did you say..." my stay-at-home human couldn't believe her ears, "...she has a ladylike manner?"

"Ahhh...no.o.o.o..." Miss Imogen corrected her, giggling softly. "Not manner. ManOR...M-A-N-O-R, spelling it out for my dunce human.

And then, in her gentle way, she gave my side The Dreaded Pinch-Test.

"Ohhh...." they breathed in unison, and I knew I had failed the test again.

Miss Imogen's thoughtless act immediately prompted my out-at-work human to declare that I was definitely still F-A-T.

My stay-at-home human threw away the leftover pancake with maple syrup and passionfruit bits that she'd brought home for me from her tea with Miss Imogen.

And this morning, I could have counted the kibble I had for breakfast on 2 paws. Or at most 4.

"How can anyone who looks so sweet be so cruel?" I wondered sadly to myself.

I hate visitors.

***

NOTE! My stay-at-home human is denying all responsibility for this post.

Miss Imogen and my stay at-home human spotted this interesting person

 on their way to tea.

***

When Miss Imogen is not having tea, she's busy being arty-farty.