My fabulous holiday week.

I hope you realise I was just being sarcastic with the title of this post.

Christmas Day, a long time ago now.

We slept in till 6.30. My out-at-work human took Mr Thumper and me to the park to play. We left my stay-at-home human at home because someone had to prepare our Christmas breakfast and lunch.

There was no one at the park or on the streets. It was eerie. We saw 1 christmas tree. If you look very hard, you might see it in the picture too.

I didn't get to meet any of my friends. I suspect they must have been home opening presents. I didn't get any presents, maybe because there wasn't any tree at home to put them under.

My stay-at-home human felt bad about being possibly the only human on the planet who didn't make a fuss over her dogs at Christmas. So when she saw a lovely squeaky Santa at the petshop yesterday [4 days after Christmas], she stopped and thought about it. She says she did and I believe her.

But she decided that, since I don't really play with toys anymore, a big bag of [low-fat grain] biscuits would make more sense. It's sad having sensible humans.

***

Every year, we get to go to The Dreaded Christmas Lunch At The Rellies. Please don't gasp. Just about everyone feels the same way, only they're too polite to say it.

We brought 3 kinds of salads. It was a long trip and I accidentally stepped on the salads a few times.

The salads were under the rug? How was I supposed to know that?

My stay-at-home human tried her best to fluff up the squashed baby mesclun, pear, smoked salmon and blue cheese salad but it was too late. Luckily, the garlic roasted vegies with couscous and extra creamy potato salad with a sprinkling of onion chives were already squashed.

We may have to rethink travel arrangements next year.

I don't know whether you know but I have quite a few cousins. None of them ever come for Christmas lunch though, except for Cousin Ralph.

This is Cousin Ralph a.k.a Santa's Little Helper.

Cousin Ralph is One Grumpy Dog. Even his humans think so. He didn't want to play and kept growling at me. Unfortunately for Cousin Ralph, I am a lot bigger, so I just sat on him. He was quite cordial after that.

 

Mr Thumper and I had a lovely light lunch of fresh lamb, roast turkey and ham. In the spirit of Christmas, we forgave Cousin Ralph and gave him some too. For dessert, I had some mango skins out of the garbage bag and a cherry off the table. It was strictly self-service.

I thought I might get some yummy turkey bone soup too, but I didn't.

Can you see where I am?

After lunch, the humans played pingpong to make themselves hungry enough to eat some more. I've never seen pingpong before. The ball was very small and bouncy and I wasn't allowed to chase it.
My out-at-work human won the tournament [of course] and my stay-at-home human got to pick the prize [of course]. It was just what she needed. A facial mask.

After many more hours of such fun, we were very tired. We went home and went directly to bed.

On Boxing Day, my humans were supposed to go on a boat to see the Sydney-Hobart Boat Race off. But they decided to sleep all day instead.

My family really knows how to have a good time.

 

Since Christmas Day.

It's been very quiet. We sleep a lot. I don't know where my friends are.

Mr Thumper got his 3rd trim for the summer today. He's lost 3 bagsful of woolly fur, and still looks fat and hot. I think he's quite happy to have a cold bath these days.

 

Our rat hunt is continuing. We've caught 5 so far. 2 are now living in a park [unless they've been eaten by feral cats]. 3 are drinking fizzy lemonade in heaven.

On Monday, my stay-at-home human cracked open an egg with 2 yolks.

There are 2 eggs in this picture.

She says she hasn't seen one of these in more than 10 years. Maybe it means we'll win Lotto soon.

This is a flower from our backyard. My stay-at-home human can't remember what it's called. It's pointless asking my out-at-work human.

The flowers bloom only at night and they smell very nice. My stay-at-home human likes putting her nose in them. The flowers always die before sunrise. This one was still open late morning a few days ago. 

I really think it might be a good time to buy a Lotto ticket.

***

Since it's holiday week, my out-at-work human hasn't had to go to work. It's been wonderful. Every morning, I wait for my stay-at-home human to go brush her teeth, make coffee and stuff like that. When she leaves the bedroom, I politely ask my out-at-work human if I can climb onto the bed for a snuggle. He always says yes.

Of course, we're not stupid and this was our little secret.

So I don't know why he decided to tell my stay-at-home human. Maybe he thought she'd be understanding. But she was instantly disagreeable. 

To cheer her up, I jumped on top of her and gently put my paw on her neck and face. Unfortunately, my paw went into her mouth and my nails into her throat. She gurgled and struggled [which was silly of her], and now she has a fat lip, a bruise in her mouth and a hole in her neck.

It's a good thing my stay-at-home human secretly loves me a lot.