Warm hand wash please, I'm fragile.

Last week, my stay-at-home human treated herself to a 90 minute d.e.e.p  t.i.s.s.u.e massage. It must have been very good because when she came home, she fell asleep on the couch and almost missed giving Mr Thumper his tea.

I only hope she didn't use any of my Lamb Bones And Chicken Necks Fund for this outing. You can never tell with her.

I really like going for walks with my stay-at-home human. We always go to exciting doggie places like day spas.

With her chakras  and chi all in balance again, my stay-at-home human thought it might be a great time to write about The Bathing And Feeding Of Miss Ratatouille and Mr Thumper In Order To Maintain A Sense Of WellBeing. 

"How about it, Georgia Little Pea?" she asked hopefully, as if I really have any say on the matter.

So here goes.

I recently found out that some of my friends never get bathed.

NEVER. EVER.

I won't name them here in case their humans don't want anyone to know how dirty they are.

Unfortunately, Mr Thumper and I are not that lucky.

Rumour has it that my humans tried many times to get A Professional Groomer to bathe Mr Thumper, but no one was interested, not even for lots of money. They drove here and there and everywhere looking for A Kind Groomer. Finally, they found A Kind Groomer Who Was Also Mobile, who promised to come. They waited and waited and waited some more, but she never turned up. And that was that.

For years, my humans used a cold hose to bathe Mr Thumper. It would take an hour and almost drained the Warragamba Dam.

To dry him off, they used a laundry load worth of towels and their own hairdryer until it died from exhaustion.

It would take a good half day to get Mr Thumper clean and fully dry.

My humans soon realised they couldn't give up their lives this way and got serious about accumulating some proper bathtime accessories.

First up was a stool to sit on [because it took so long to bathe him].

Next came the kiddy pool, which they call Pipi. [Everything has a name in this house, it's bizarre.]

Mr Thumper liked Pipi much better than the hose and became a lot calmer at bathtime.

Then, at the Easter Show one year, my humans saw someone using A Hair Dryer Made For Malamutes And Other Equally Hairy Dogs. To say they were excited at this discovery would be an understatement.

After that, only one final thing was needed. A pack of face masks [not seen here] to protect my out-at-work human's sinuses from Mr Thumper's flying fur [not seen here either].

One industrial strength dryer + a little heater + a hot sunny day with low h.u.m.i.d.i.t.y and my out-at-work human was finally able to reduce Mr Thumper's drying time to just under 2 hours [with a little break in between to stretch his aching back].

Why anyone would want a dog as troublesome as Mr Thumper is beyond me.

Luckily for my humans, I am An Easy-Care Dog.

I almost always get bathed by my stay-at-home human who recognises a good thing when she sees it.

On days when I need my special scabby skin shampoo, it takes her about 15 minutes to bathe me.

 Otherwise, it takes her about 5.

Plus another 5 minutes to give me a quick dry.

When summer comes round, it takes her even less time because she just hoses me down and leave me in the sun to dry off. Goody for her because I can get a bit dirty.

On bath days, my stay-at-home human is very happy that Mr Thumper is my out-at-work human's dog and not hers.

I don't know how to tell her I'm not hers either.

And that concludes my stay-at-home human's thought-provoking post on How To Bathe Georgia And Rufus.

Thankfully, we're not going to do a Grooming post. Let's just say it takes a long time to brush Mr Thumper and it has to be done 2 times a week. [It used to be 3, but he has less hair now.] I never get brushed.

*****

A late October update:

What, you might ask, was the point of this story? When I wrote it, nothing at all. I had some pictures I wanted to share. But after things had swished around in my head for a while, I realised it was actually a good way to talk about How Much Work A Malamute Is.

Why is this important? Rufus, as you may know by now, was abandoned twice before he was 8 months old. The 2nd person [who adopted him from the SPCA] was found but didn't want him back. He was too much work for her.

If we had a dollar for every grownup and child who's stopped us over the years to say, "I want a dog just like him!".....well! We wouldn't be James Packer, but we'd definitely be able to afford quite a few more kilos of meat.

Who can I blame? The desire to own a snow dog is always worse after a new snow dog movie comes out. Call me simple, but I think there may be a connection there. Many Nemos got flushed down the toilet after a child's first flush of fishy love died. Believe me when I say it would be much harder to get rid of a malamute that way.

Much easier to just dump them at a pound where they can become someone's else's problem. And this is exactly what happens, and the reason why you find so many snow dogs HERE. If you click on the Links on that homepage, you'll find more snow dog rescues throughout Australia.

There are many places on this planet that are perfect for malamutes, where they are happy and thrive and do malamutey things. You can even read about some here.

It's the kind of life that Rufus could have had, was bred to have, and should have had. But what can you do? It's sad really.