Thursday, August 2, 2012

Georgia Little Pea's Great Mysteries of Life #1

So, The Typist had some ants in her pants last week and hijacked my blog to wash her dirty laundry. (Please refrain from mentioning my incorrect interesting use of idioms and metaphors. I am a dog and do the best I can with my limited knowledge of The Queen's English.)


Well, let me tell you, she's not the only one who ponders and provokes thoughts around here. 


Starting today, I would like to share with you, my readers, some mysteries that make me (The Owner Of This Blog) ponderous think a lot. I'll start with a toughie because I know you can take it.



Why is it never ever the right time to feed me no matter what time I ask?


"Is it time to feed me?"
"No? Are you sure?"

*

"How about now?"
"Later. Really?"

*

"Come on! Surely it must be time to feed me! That's the 7 o'clock news on telly. I'm not stoopid you know."
"How about it, Cushion?"
"Don't you get paid handsomely to look after me, Typist a.k.a. Nutritionist a.k.a. Cook?"

"Service really sucks around here."

So far, I have not had any satisfactory answer to this Great Mystery. My humans are mostly rude and ignore me when I ask, and their favourite answers are -


"Soon."


"Later."


"Not yet."


"No."


Good grief! What does that even mean?!


Can you help me with this Great Mystery? I would love to hear from you if you can!


*

 "Feed me or I kill the pig."
"The dogs cop it next."
"Please help."





36 comments:

Greyhounds CAN Sit said...

No wonder you eat donuts, GLP;)

verobirdie said...

Here is Morphee, Vero's daughter's cat, speaking.
My humans are even meaner. They bought a programmable dispenser, and say it is not their fault if I'm starving, but the dispenser's...
Stupid machine

georgia little pea said...

Dear Morphee, I never heard of such a thing. Can't they programme it to feed you every hour? I'd like that! Cool name you have, BTW.

houndstooth said...

This is a most vexing mystery for us, too! I mean, sheesh, you were starving just last week and they wouldn't even let you eat a doughnut! I wonder if they're secretly eating all your food and just putting you off, thinking you won't know.

Bunny

pennypup said...

=O Maybe they've put you on a diet!
I know whan I put Kyuss on a diet recently, he was always wondering when he was next going to be fed. =]

Ann Oon said...

they don't feed you thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...n oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. i am calling the SPCA.. and and and... getting you a plane ticket.

I'll bee at them airports to pick you... i'll hold a card with the words GLP... come quick!

woofs n licks,
Dommy

good thing you killed the donut... serves them right for not feeding yous on time... and and and... urmmm... letting you wait and wait...

can't wait for your Mystery #2 :D

georgia little pea said...

It's true some NASTY humans at the park have lately been telling My Cushion I'm fat (!) and, no thanks to them, I am now on a tiny diet. But this not feeding me when I ask has been going on forever! I think my humans are just being mean and want to show me who's boss.

Dommy - I think your keyboard might be crook. It's typing a lot lot lot of of thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis ;) please send air ticket ASAP.

Jean said...

Deah Georgia. My mama is ALWAYS tellin' me "your tummy clock's early". I think she's making that up. Do we have clocks in our tummies? I. Don't. Think. So.

I think your humans (and mine) are just too lazy to get up right then. Or they are control freaks and not going to let US tell THEM what to do.

Canines Unite! Free Access to food at all times! Enslave the Humans!

Jean said...

Oops I forgot to sign my last post and I was using my mama's (Jean's) computer! That was me, Eddie, in case you couldn't tell!!!

Pamela said...

You are quite the philosopher, Georgia. Is this your version of "if a dog eats but is still hungry, was she ever fed?"

Honey and I are coming to the rescue. We just need to become better sailors, sell the house, buy a boat, and sail to Sydney. We should be there in about 3 years.

Just hang in there. We're coming with snacks. Really.

jodistone said...

Delilah seems to feel that she should be fed when she wants it as well. My only advice Georgia is that the humans have a better grasp of time, calories and whatnot. You are wise to listen to them. :-)

georgia little pea said...

Eddie - sign me up please! Just one question. Once the humans are enslaved, who'll be doing the cooking? I hope you're good at poaching chicken.

Pamela - Ooooo... that's a good one. My Typist is jealous.
3 years! Are you guys slow learners or what? I don't know if I can hang on that long but I'll try!

Scrappy said...

Try this...it works for me. Bark once. wait by your dish. Bark three cute barks and paw at your dish. Still not working? Bark bark bark - not stopping and move the dish across the kitchen floor all the way to the closet where the food is. My peeps cannot resist this cute move with the incessant barking. They know I mean business! Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

georgia little pea said...

Delilah - your human sounds very sensible. What are calories? Should we be worried?

Scrappy - thank you for your tip! If you look closely at the blurry pictures, you will see that I've tried barking, that is to say ...communicating with my humans many times over this issue. I've done the nose to bowl trick, stare at microwave oven trick and sitting forlornly in the dark kitchen looking starved trick. Nothing seems to work! Could it possibly be because I'm not little, cute and fluffy like you?

Ann Oon said...

idon't know what's wrong with my cow's puter thingggggggggggy... cos it doess a lot of thisssssssssssssss.. dun know the whys.. but but but.. mebbe her brains (if she has one) isss on them fritzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

bzzz bzzzzz
Dommy

me draw yous a ticket tomolosssss... if me paws can work them craaaaaaaaaayons.

good nite lil Pea :)

Jan said...

Munching on things humans like for some reason--books, shoes, glasses, car keys--shows them you are serious about your nutritional needs.

Karen Friesecke said...

You will just have to put faith in your humans as to when feeding time is. Patience is a virtue, Miss GLP

Jean said...

Georgia, if the hoomans are enslaved, they will be OUR slaves and hafta do everything we say, including cook for us and feed us whenever we want. Not that they have to cook for me - I eat raw. Hmm.....but I do needs them to shop for me.
I like Jan's suggestion - make sure one of the things you munches on is the remote control for the telly. I hear they is very tasty. And the hoomans won't be able to watch TV and keep you waiting fer your dinner.
Eddie.

georgia little pea said...

Karen - patience is WHAT???

Eddie - oh now I feel all stoopid because I never thought of that. They not in cages, they got chains on so they can move and shop and cook and stuff. Gotcha!

H and Flo said...

OMG! Haven't you a heart Typist? Cushion (I know you're reading this)? How could you resist those eyes??? She's clearly wasting away. No wonder she had to resort to the doughnut!

What Remains Now said...

Freedom, Casper and Nikki all wear wristwatches and gang up on me to feed them at the prescribed times. You need two more pups in the house so you have the "numbers" advantage and can therefore intimidate The Typist.

Rose from Oz is Back! said...

Oh my poor Ms Pea, whatever is the world coming to!!!!!!! I only have two things to say - you just say the word girrrl, and I'll arrange a vinnies food parcel for you, and to keep the ants outta her pants try the Mortein. (Huey didn't get killed off)
Ms Jana is in total sympathy with you, 'apparently' I am trying to kill her off (she's on a tiny diet too). Keep yer muzzle up girl, and the face-down-on-crossed-paws-with-sad-eyes is always a winner and "they" will succumb eventually.
xx

Rose from Oz is Back! said...

Huey???? Typist I know you are reading this to Georgia,so let her know its "Louie", I knew THAT!! Bwah hahahahahaha........Huey....... let's keep her education 'correct' :)))

Julie said...

So sorry that your humans are not cooperating :( I know you must be starving!!

yuki and rocket said...

Okay, Yuki speaking here, this is what you do when the humans don't feed you when you think you should be fed. You sit right in front of the person who feeds you, and obnoxiously bark, the bark used for when you are demanding something. When you are barking, you stare at the human, and don't move or stop barking until they give in and get up! That's what I do, I hope this works for you!

Yuki (and Rocket)

georgia little pea said...

Freedom, Casper and Nikki - now that you mention it, I think you're right about numbers. I got fed much more punctually when Rufus was around.

Rose - you did give The Typist a moment. "I'm Huey the fly, I'm Huey the fly." haha!!! NOT! ;) Please send Jana my sympathies.

Yuki - thanks for the tip! Unfortunately, my humans aren't just tough, they're deaf.

William the Lurcher said...

It's a mystery to me too!

3 doxies said...

Girl, I has been contemplatin' dis fur da past 4 years of my life...and I still has no answer and I is too tired and weak from da lack of food to think anymores.
Maybes I can come meet you and sneak you out and we can go to a nice restaurant and gets lots of entrees and even some desert...our hoomans will nevers even knows we is gone.

Puddles

melf said...

OMG! The pleas from the stuffed dogs was priceless! Georgia - I believe my dogs are suffering from a similar issue.

Us humans have to stik together. I got no answers for you here. :)

Kari in Vegas said...

Waiting for food sucks

Stop on by for a visit
Kari
http://www.dogisgodinreverse.com

3 doxies said...

Hehehe...oh no, my nails is goos and dirty nows, all caked in mud. You shouls has heard da words come out of my mum's mouf!
Ypu soooo need to learn PS...my mum learned herself so it can't be day hard.

Puddles
PS; Is it time to eat yet?:)

chandra said...

GLP you seem to be a destructive streak. I get angry even thinking about going on a diet so I can understand.

I do see that someone got a new dishwasher, which of course means that your typist will have more time on her hands for typing, which means you'll have ample opportunity to air your grievances while you're watching your figure!

Don't let those meanies at the dog park get you down, GLP, you are gorgeous! Now, this poor kid has something to worry about: http://tinyurl.com/dyxd5vz

-c at ddy.

georgia little pea said...

New dishwasher? Noooo?

Oh HAHAHA! Now THAT dog is f.a.t. Don't worry Miss C. I'm not going to let some nasty people telling the truth get me down. Love ya! X

Pup Fan said...

Hmmm... that's a good question. Why isn't the right time just any time that you're hungry?

Kolchak Puggle said...

I can not STAND those answers! "later", "not now", "for crying out loud Kolchak, knock it off". I can't stand it! We're practically abused Georgia, I tell you!

Leslie said...

Hmmmm. Bella would like to offer GLP these suggestions:

talk. a lot. bark. mumble. moan and whine. these seem to be the only things that get the hu-folks off the couch and in the kitchen to give me chicken. :]