Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Something wicked this way comes.

Late last night, way past my bedtime, my stay-at-home human was snarfling dark chocolate with sea salt crumbs next to my bed and laughing loudly to herself.

It was scary, and I grumbled and glared at her to let her know I was scared.

It wasn't her fault though. It was Ms Pamela's.

Ms Pamela had sent her a video after reading our Amazingly Useful Pantry Post. It wasn't about something useful from her pantry though. It was about the Bufo Marinus.

When my stay-at-home human woke up this morning, she said to herself, "What a great loss to h.u.m.a.n.i.t.y it would be [not to mention everyone who needs a bit of a laugh this Wednesday], to leave it in the comments section of an old post."

So here it is - just in time for Stryliah Day - A Very Funny Video from a wicked dogblogger, Ms Pamela, who found it in This Very Funny Post  on yet another dogblog.



Did you screAm?!


P+S

HAppy StryliAh Day!

Monday, January 24, 2011

5 things from the pantry.

I've lately been thinking that it might be nice if I could make this blog a bit more useful. I searched my brain high and low for some inspiration [there wasn't very far to go], and found the answers in my pantry.

So here's my very 1st Useful Post. [I hope it'll be useful for someone.]


+++

Over the years, we've found that many everyday things are handy in the care of dogs too. They're especially handy when there's a midnight emergency.

Here are some such things, that just about everyone will have in their pantry.


Oatmeal
How wonderful is oatmeal? We use the generic PLAIN type, no need to spend 4X the money on a brand.
Rufus and Georgia sometimes get bad tums. Rufus, because he has pancreatitis and things can go wrong quickly and easily. Georgia, because she picks up foul stuff on her walks, like that bucket of barbecue fat and dripping she tucked into at Callan Park a few weeks ago. Her tummy hasn't been the same since.

After a day of fasting and mournful faces, I re-introduce normal feeding with a day or 2 of small bland meals. Oatmeal is my carb of choice [especially in cold weather], with a teaspoon of honey and some tiny pieces of plain poached chicken breast or beef [all fat removed]. Cooking takes 2+2 minutes in the microwave. Even I can't complain that it's too much hard work.

Yes, of course rice is good too - http://www.ehow.com/how_2196654_treat-dog-diarrhea.html

Little Pea also has skin issues. It's much, MUCH better now but, Back In The Day, I used to tie a generous handful of rolled oats/oatmeal in a little muslin bag or old cotton sock [get real - how many of us have pieces of muslin lying about the house?] and put it in some cool/tepid bath water. I would swish it around until the water got milky, then make her stand in the bath and pour this milky water over her. I would massage the bag over her coat as well. She smelt nice and it didn't dry out her skin, which was great because I had to do it often.

Incredibly, it's good for LittleDogs too! - http://www.smalldogsparadise.com/health-care/use-oatmeal-to-treat-your-dogs-dry-itchy-skin/


Soap
Yes, I know this isn't a pantry item. but it's in every clean house, so that's good enough.
This one here is a lovely Australian made Clay Soap and one of the reasons I'm a happy piggy in the shower. But any simple MILD soap will do the trick.

If you're a frugal person who doesn't send Spot to the groomer, at some point you'll need to have a dreaded nail cutting session. Georgia doesn't like it. I don't know many dogs who do. And guess what? Accidents will happen, especially when Nervous Doggy jerks her paw around in a desperate attempt to get away from Monster With Nail Clipper.

When that happens and blood starts to spray onto the floor and walls, do not panic or faint. It looks worse than it really is. [At least that's what I was told when I called The 24 Hour Emergency Vet Hospital the first time it happened, screaming down the line that I thought I'd killed my dog and he was bleeding to death - it happened to Jordan Puff Piglet.]

The eerily calm person on the other end suggested I cut a little piece of soap, soften it with a bit of water, squish it and cover the anguished nail with it. Yay.

Don't take my word for it. You can read about this as well,  in the link under the next subtitle.


Flour
If you're a dirty person who doesn't like bathing and has no idea what soap is, do not fret. You may still have flour in the pantry.
Covering that badly cut and bleeding nail with some flour helps too. No, I don't think it matters if it's plain or cornflour. It might be easier to apply if you make the flour into a paste by adding a bit of water first.

More here on bleeding nails - http://www.ehow.com/how_4918483_bleeding-trim-dogs-toenails-short.html


Vinegar
Rufus gets bad tummies too often. Being incontinent and wobbly, he does it wherever. After clearing and hosing, blah blah, I can sometimes still smell where he's been. So can the flies. [I do hope you're not eating while you read this.]
I've found that a little vinegar in a bucket of water tossed on the courtyard seems to clear the air, and [so far] has not harmed the plants in the adjacent flower beds. No need for expensive vinegars here. You're not trying to impress the neighbours. Any cheap homebrand type will do.

If however, it's skin issues we're talking about - you will need APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. I put it in the bathwater as a rinse [as an alternative to the oatmeal]. Also, a tablespoon in her brekkie [that's HER dosage - remember, she's an L-size dog] seems to be good for her. Some dogs may not appreciate the taste. Little Pea has no problems that way.

For more ways to use Apple Cider Vinegar  and *when NOT! to use it* - http://www.natural-dog-health-remedies.com/apple-cider-vinegar-for-dogs.html

More here - http://www.earthclinic.com/Pets/acvfordogs.html

What's especially interesting in the 2nd link, is the feedback section from people who've used ACV for different issues, sometimes with mixed results.


Baking Soda [Bicarbonate Of Soda ]
2 decades ago, when we lived in one-day-beautiful, next-day-perfect Queensland, our backyard was home to a few canetoads. We had 2 other BigDogs then. Their names were Farouk and Jehan. One day Jehan caught a canetoad in his mouth and started foaming.

Being the calm person I was, [it could have been The Other Half, I don't actually remember], I instantly started hosing his face and mouth down and made a quick call to the vet. He advised us to use some bicarb to clean out his mouth. Luckily, we had some in the pantry! Jehan quickly felt better. And so did we, because it's a scary thing to see your dog foaming in the mouth and being crook like that.

In fact, the only creatures that didn't come off too well were the canetoads in the yard that were summarily hunted down and dispatched thereafter.

More spiffy uses for Baking Soda - http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-some-pet-related-uses-for-baking-soda.htm

Strangely enough, The Other Half wanted to brush Georgia's teeth on Saturday. He couldn't find the little tube of doggie toothpaste that we'd bought a long time ago. He's convinced I threw it away. What Absolute Rubbish!

Look at what I just read in this link  above - he could have used Baking Soda instead!

I like doing Useful Posts. I've already learnt something useful from it. I hope you have too.


Warning, Will Robinson! Warning!
We've found all the pantry items here useful in the care of our dogs. We like that they're natural, cheap products, and usually in the pantry.

Some of the advice for using them originally came from professionals. Others from dog forums. I have no idea if they'll be as effective for you and your dog[s]. If the problems are ongoing, DO ask your vet for advice. If you have any doubts, but would like to try these pantry items, why not check with your vet first?

Good luck!

P.S. Someone Clever said I should try ending posts with a question to encourage discussion.

Do YOU have any Useful Pantry Items you might like to add to the list? Any good or bad experiences with The Items above perhaps? Please do share! We LOVE to learn.

***

WHAT on earth is a cane toad?
http://australianmuseum.net.au/Cane-Toad

An excerpt from this link -

"Signs of poisoning through ingestion include profuse salivation, twitching, vomiting, shallow breathing, and collapse of the hind limbs. Death may occur by cardiac arrest within 15 minutes."

"First aid treatment includes irrigating (washing with a lot of water) the eyes, mouth and nose if they have been exposed to toad venom. Seek medical attention if symptoms persist. When handling any frog or toad, protect the eyes, wear gloves, and thoroughly wash hands before and after touching the animal."

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Welcome to Stryliah, Ms Chandra!

I hope you had a good trip on the plane and that they gave you enough things to eat. They can be a bit stingy.

In case you're wondering, yes,  I know what a plane is because my humans always point to the sky and say, "Plane, Georgia, plane!" when they see one. I don't know why they do embarrassing things like that but I am getting a good v.o.c.a.b.u.l.a.r.y.

It's very hot today, isn't it?
Have a Great holiday, Ms Chandra! :) 

p.s. Did you get to meet our sniffer dogs? They have a cool job. They get  to welcome everyone to Stryliah!


*****
If you have senior dogs, like Rufus B Thumper, check out Ms Chandra's blog - Daley's Dog Years. Some interesting and mighty helpful stuff there.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Ahem.






















"ThAnk You, Ms Karla!" :)


A Saturday update because My Typist forgot I had something to say to The People In Charge Of These Things.

Thank you for your lovely Adopted & Adored stamp collection. They make a nice change from flowers and koalas.

However, I would like to point out, very politely, that you seem to have missed out quite a few rescues that need to be adopted and adored too.

These would be BigDogs, OldDogs, ScaryDogs, BlackDogs and, last but not least, C-a-t-s. I have been told that these are very hard types to find good homes for. (Of course, I completely understand how that might be for the C-a-t-s).

Anyway, this Very Important Point is for your kind concidrasyun considerashun you to think about, should you be having another collection of Adopted & Adored.

I have included a helpful example of what a BigDog stamp might look like. As you can see, it is quite nice.

Thank you for reading. Have a happy day!

Yours sincerely, Georgia Little Pea Ratatouille.

P.S. The model in the stamp above is available at short notice. She has extensive experience in front of the camera and will get out of bed for a fresh lamb shank [lightly seared] and a 1kg bag of liver treats [organic if possible]. That price may seem a bit high, but it is not negotiable. Thank you again.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Flowers, Very Excellent Names, various things to eat, and a desire for World Peace.

A few days ago, I went out for A Ladies Lunch.

3 of us were Young Ladies. The other 2 were Not So Young. In fact, 1 was Frumpy, Grumpy and Old. Don't worry. I won't name names.

Some of the Ladies had bad manners and were late. You know who you are.

It was very hot work waiting for them. So I went for a swim. There are many little beaches around here where us dogs are allowed to play and swim.

This one's tiny and, to be honest, quite crappy.
My stay-at-home human got hungry, so she ate some lilly-pilly berries she found on a bush on the way back from the beach.
I don't know why she's allowed to eat things she finds, and I'm not.

Finally, the other Ladies arrived!

Here's Lady Tiggy. She's a bit shy.
And here's Lady Nu. She likes to wear flowers too. 
They both have Very Excellent Names like me.
Look what else we share?!
Isn't that nice?

For lunch, we had macaroons, meat pies and sausage rolls with extra tomato sauce. In case you want to know, the macaroons were - in alphabetical order - Banana, Basil Passionfruit, Cinnamon, Liquorice Raspberry and Pancake Maple Syrup. We like to eat healthy things. The Banana got mashed right away. They say I did it.
I haven't got pictures of the pies and sausage rolls because they got eaten too fast. I only got some pastry crumbs. A piece of sausage roll fell on the dirty ground. My stay-at-home human picked it up and ate it. She set a Very Bad Example for the Young Ladies there.

After my lovely and generous lunch of pastry crumbs and old doughnut scraps [from the bottom of Lady Tiggy's pram]
washed down with a cup of tap water, I was very full and had a nap.

Then, before we knew it, Ladies Lunch was over. It was time to kiss, hug and say goodbye.
On the way home, we saw this sad news.


 

>^<

Maybe one day, we can make some lilly-pilly jam! I like a bit of jam on my toast.

p.s. I don't know why there's a recipe for Chicken Cacciatore at the end of the information sheet.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Snail mail.

My Typist got some snail mail yesterday. She hasn't received snail mail in a very long time [all the bills get paid by my hardworking out-at-work human], so she admired the envelope for a bit.

It wasn't anything important like a reminder from Dr Dog or our treats delivery service.

It was from her gym telling her she was still fat and please do something about it like renew her membership.

After a while, she noticed the stamp in the corner.
"Awww..." she thought, "...how nice." 

She went to check out the other stamps in the collection. Here they are.

Strip picture from: http://stamps.chrisdehaer.com.au/issues/201018.shtml

I wonder why there aren't any BigDogs in the collection. It's A Mystery. I hope it doesn't mean the BigDogs are still in the pound waiting, and haven't been adopted and adored yet. That would be sad.

That's it then. Have a good day!

Yours sincerely,

The Adopted and Adored BigPigDog, that would be me, Georgia Little Pea.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Mr Thumper gets a workout.

Despite his bad legs, Mr Thumper loves his daily walks.

Very often though, he goes out the front gate and can't decide which way he wants to go, left or right.

So he just lies down on the sidewalk and has a good think about it, while my stay-at-home human slowly starts to tear her hair out.

This morning, when they went out the gate, they saw this.
Someone kind had decided to help Mr Thumper with his toughest question of the day [or felt sorry for my stay-at-home human].

So off they went, following the helpful little arrows!

Down the road, and round the corner.
Someone evil tried to confuse them here.
And here! 
But my stay-at-home human and Mr Thumper were too smart to fall into those evil traps.

On they went, until eventually, they saw this.
And they realised, someone kind had pointed them to the park where Old and Fragile, Little Teacup and Gentle Dogs play.

They saw that the grass had grown a lot. The People In Charge Of These Things must still be on Christmas break.
Hector was there.
And Abbie too.
Abbie and Mr Thumper had a game.

They ran for at least 10 seconds. Mr Thumper got quite a workout.
Darcy wanted to join in the game. But Mr Thumper had had enough by then.

After that, my stay-at-home human and Mr Thumper came home, and Mr Thumper got a low-fat multi-grain biscuit for exercising so hard.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A letter of c.o.n.t.r.i.t.i.o.n to Mr Ben in Bermtopia.

If you've not been following this story, it might make more sense to start HERE, then move on to HERE, before reading this.

???!

Yes. Really.

*****

Dear Mr Ben,

Thank you so much for your response! I have been quite anxiously waiting, with my little bag packed, since yesterday lunch. I had quite a sleepless night. 

I am SO embarrassed, not to have considered the possibility that YOU ARE ALSO A DOG! I don't know why I thought I might be the only dog with nothing better to do than sit next to the computer, dictating to My Typist. I'm impressed that you don't even need A Typist! I don't know what t.e.l.e.k.i.n.e.t.i.c.a.l.l.y means. It is A Very Big Word. Perhaps we can talk about that technique some other day.

I'm sorry you've changed your mind to have me come live with you. My Typist always said my outgoing opinionated nature would get me into trouble one day. I can fully understand why you've decided to remain The Only Pampered Dog In Bermtopia. I would have made the same decision.

Besides, it sounds like you're too far away for me to walk to your house. I have never heard of the U-S of A. Is it near the fishmarket over the bridge? That's the furthest I've ever walked. For anything further than that, we take the car. And, as you might know, I'm not a very good swimmer and am still learning not to panic in the water.

So all in all, it might be better for me to continue living here.

Also, it's the weekend! and My Cushion won't have to go out to work! and I'll be doing lots of fun things! and cuddling on the couch! So I don't feel neglected anymore.

Thank you again for your kind and generous offer. I will always remember it.

Have a great weekend in the snow. Too bad it's not good for eating.

Your (of course) eternal friend, Georgia little Pea Bermtopia Ratatouille.

P.S. Can't you do something about the cat?


*****

Thank You to The Queen and Supreme Goddess of Bermtopia for so graciously humouring me in this grand and impromptu experiment of writing something out of the comments section. I had fun. Hope you did too!

Friday, January 14, 2011

A letter to Mr Ben in Bermtopia.

Dear Mr Ben,

Thank you for your kind offer to have me come live with you. That is SO generous of you considering we just met.

I am a very loyal dog and love My Cushion a lot, so I might have to think about your offer a little.








Okay.

After careful consideration, and seeing as how you have a lovely range of bedding, futons and chair for me to lounge on, I think I would like to come live with you.

We can make arrangements about the food bit later because I do like a bit of poached chicken, hearts and steak for breakfast. And fresh fruit and vegies of course. 2 treats a day will be ample. If 3 come my way, I won't tell if YOU won't tell.

2 walks a day [guaranteed!] sounds lovely. That's what I'm used to here as well.

It sounds cold in Bermtopia so I will bring my 3 favourite toasty jammies - with the pirate, dog howling at the moon and dog n' bones. They're all I have because it's not too cold here in Sydney. Don't worry, I won't be needing your blue blankie. I have 3 myself - a blue 1, a gaudy checked 1 and a green 1 - that I can pack and bring along. I hope the colours don't clash with your furnishing because that would be awful.

Now that's settled, will you be picking me up from my house? I'm not quite sure where Bermtopia is. If I have to get there myself, please send me a map. I hope it's not too far because I will be walking.

By the way, do you have a dog in the house? If you do, he might have to go [unless he's Very Handsome]. I have a housemate here too and am anxious to experience the life of being An Only Pampered Dog.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Until then, all the best, Georgia Little Pea Ratatouille Bermtopia.

p.s. Is s-n-o-w good to eat?


^^^

If you'd like to read Mr Ben in Bermtopia's kind offer, please go to the comments section of the last post.

If you'd like to meet Mr Ben, click HERE. He's the hairy one.

And, I'm going to dedicate this story to Ms Klune for her comment about comments :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Diary of a neglected dog.

Dear Diary,

Please don't tell anyone, but I don't think my stay-at-home human a.k.a. My Typist a.k.a. My Nutritionist loves me anymore.

You can see how sad I am.
She's been sitting in front of the computer for 3 days now, and late into the night too. My bedsheets haven't been washed in a week. She's stopped cuddling me on the couch because she's never on the couch. She almost forgot to feed Mr Thumper and me our afternoon tea 2 days ago.
In fact, about the only good thing that's happened this week, is that she's been forgetting to eat HER lunch too. If she continues like this, she might be able to wear something that doesn't look like a tent soon.

Yesterday, I didn't get to eat at all.

???*!&^^ :( ??? I can hear you thinking.

I was SO hungry.

By 2 in the morning, I was starving, so I went upstairs to see if there was anything to eat there. All I found were my 2 humans, snoring away. I wondered for a moment if they My Typist might miss a toe, or 2 at the most, if I gave them just a teeny-tiny chew. But I'm A Lady, and decided it was better to go hungry than hurt her, even if she hadn't remembered to feed me for a whole day.

All the time, my tummy kept grumbling at me. I had to try to console it, "I'm sorry, LittleTummy. What can I do? It's not like there's a garbage bin nearby that I can tip over for scraps. Please don't be sad, LittleTummy. I'm sure she'll remember to feed us tomorrow. Try and get some sleep now, okay?"

But LittleTummy didn't stop grumbling and it got louder and louder and LOUDER! until it woke My Typist up.

"WHAT is that sound?" I heard her say. "Georgia! Is that YOU? Is that YOUR TUMMY?" She came over, put her hand on my tummy, gave it a gentle rub and finally, FINALLY!...she felt bad and mean and selfish and all of those awful things.

She gave me a cuddle. She brought my bed up to the room. She tucked me in and told me to hang in there till brekkie.

Then she went back to bed and left me with my grumbling tum. I was very sad. But what could I do, Dear Diary? It's not like I had the key to the house and could just let myself out and run away like Jennie. So I did what she told me, and bravely hung in there.

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't wait to eat, but I had to go for my walk first. When I got home, I found My Nutritionist had gotten out of bed! and made my breakfast!
In case you're wondering, Mr Thumper's brekkie is the one on the left. Mine is the yummy one on the right.

It looked pretty bad. But I was so hungry, I gobbled down the 3 whole big generous gooey tablespoons she gave me. She tells me I'm going to have 5 little meals today. But Dear Diary, I don't know if she's lying because she's back at the computer again.

If you ask me, Murphy's decided he likes our little house and has moved in. In the last 2 weeks, I've been bitten, had surgery, haven't been allowed to play with my friends, had a bad tummy, been starved to the brink of death. 

My scar. Isn't it neat? Dr Dog isn't just handsome, he's Very Good.
And now, my toes have started to itch too. And did I mention, my bum g.l.a.n.ds are killing me? I was so stressed, I started to leak stuff yesterday on My Poor Cushion. Lucky there was a towel on him [that immediately got washed by My Typist a.k.a. My Washerwoman].

My Cushion was very brave. He put on some gloves, brought out a tube of whatever and gave me a squeeze,  just like Dr Dog had taught him. I won't go into the gory details here because...well, just because.

But anyone having a morning coffee and a roll while reading this had BETTER NOT LOOK AT THE NEXT 2 PICTURES.



I'll just give you some space here to quickly close your eyes and scroll down.





Dum-de-dum...



...de-dum-de-dum...

 








Okay, it's safe now!

If you DID look at those pictures, I hope you're okay. If it's any comfort, I didn't feel great about what was happening either.
This morning, maybe because she was feeling quilty about being A Bad Mom, or maybe because she was scared my out-at-work human would use his Very Loud Voice when he comes back from work, My Typist thought it best to do something about the mess that is now our little house.
She did the laundry, that is to say, the washing machine did the laundry and she hung them out.
She did the dishes, that is to say, the dishwasher did the dishes and she put them away.
She gave Mr Thumper's scabby back a medicated wash.

And she FINALLY realised my toes needed one too.
Does anyone else think I've aged in the last 2 weeks?

Despite being so busy, My Typist also found time to beautify herself with these bracelets.
She says they're supposed to chase the mosquitoes away. I don't know why she she's worried about  getting bitten by mosquitoes. Everyone knows they only bite smart humans.

And that, Dear Diary, is pretty much what I have to tell you today. I don't think my humans stay-at-home human loves me anymore.
I wonder if anyone out there would like A Lovely PigDog, housetrained, Almost A Lady, who doesn't eat too much [not even yummy littledogs], with freshly washed toes, and who is only ever so slightly opinionated.



*****

Eat This Yummy Pap, Georgia. It's Good For You!
Rice
Oatmeal [the cheap Homebrand kind] cooked in homemade chicken stock
Lentils, chickpea and pumpkin mash
Blended silverbeet and beans
Chopped up poached chicken breast [she says there's a lot in my bowl, I think she's lying]
Bloodwood honey [tastes better than it sounds]
1 tsp probiotic or slippery elm [so yum]


"YOU eat it, you typist you!"